CT: Tonight's show brought to you by the Ketchup Advisory Board. n SS: These are the good years for Jim and Me. The kids were enjoying their Work Release program. It turns out that manual labor really can build character. The dog got his degree from obedience school, awarded posthumously. And that funny smell in the house wasn't from Jim's slippers, it was a dead chipmunk in the furnace. We should have been happy, and yet, the other night I came home and found Jim staring out the living room window. Jim, honey. Is something wrong?
TR: Barb - I don't think I'll ever be an HGTV host.
SS: Oh? You mean that fixer upper network?
TR: They've rejected my audition tape. They sent back a note that said my ideas were Chuckleheaded.
SS: Oh Jim. - TR: They suggested I apply to a trade school instead.
SS: Jim I think you're very handy around the house. After you fixed the Microwave, I was able to use the carousel tray as a night-light.
TR: I even showed them how a shower cap over the smoke detector can cover up all kinds of cooking mishaps
SS: You're a futurist, Jim. Not many deep thinkers do that well with simple repairs. They're just not compatible.
TR: And then just last month I was turned down for that "So You Think You Can Dance" show.
SS: Do you think you can dance Jim?
TR: Of course Barb. Remember? I was the Grandmaster of The Twist.
SS: Until that herniated disc. What did you send, on the audition tape?
TR: A five-minute Interpretive Dance based on the Moonwalk
TR: I guess I shouldn't have mooned while doing the walk.
SS: You know what you need, Jim?
SS: No, you need ketchup. Ketchup has natural mellowing agents that help dull the pain of unrealized dreams. C'mon, let's go to the kitchen and I'll fix you a waffle. With Ketchup.
RD: The sounds of winter, the driveway glazed with ice You shouldn't go outside today, but then you roll the dice. Your fracture's flowing, like Ketchup on white rice. n CT: Ketchup. For the good times.
RD: Ketchup ... Ketchup.