(SFX RESTAURANT, PIANO)

CT: You look lovely, Isabel. Happy Anniversary.

SB: I love you, Eric.

CT: To us. (SFX GLASSES CLINK)

SB: To us! (SIPS) Mmmm... delicious.

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH)

FN: Sir, Madame. Is the wine to your satisfaction?

SB: (SIPS) Mmm. Oh yes, very much ...

CT: Tell me about it again?

FN: Of course -- Chateau Desole. It's a beautiful grape ss has its soul crushed until it becomes a husk of itself and lives its life in a catatonic state of servitude.

SB: (SIPS) Mmm, delicious.

FN: Excellent. For our specials tonight, the chef has prepared a hand-sslapped salmon fillet. It's served atop an antisocial fennel, which has been cyber-bullied to perfection. That comes with the under-confident baby potatoes and string beans with massive student debt problems.

SB: Oh, very nice.

FN: Next we have tame wild onions, and taunted mushroom gravy over a cold-hearted prairie hen, which has been peer-spressured to tenderness served on butternut squash with a Stockholm Syndrome glaze, and the undersconfident baby potatoes served with this dish... have daddy issues.

CT: Sounds good. I've never had them.

SB: Oh, you have, too. We've both had daddy issues.

FN: And there is lobster tail bathed in butter and steeped in a martyr complex. Then we braise jumbo shrimp with dysmorphia and scallops. This comes with a paranoid tomato sauce which has been let down by all of its friends. Do you need a moment to decide?

SB: No. I'll have the paranoid soup and the hand-sslapped salmon, but instead of cyber-bullying the fennel, can you just stare at it and make it think about what it's done?

FN: Of course. And for you, sir?

CT: I'll have the house salad with astigmatism and the prairie hen. How is it cooked?

FN: It is married for five years and we slowly chip at its ego until it is perfectly flat and barely responsive.

CT: Sounds perfect. Happy anniversary, Sweetheart.

SB: To us. (SFX GLASSES CLINK) One more glass of this and I'll need an overeducated cappuccino.