A Prairie Home Companion Segment 13 for June 28, 2014
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0:00 | 00:07:33


They are turning all the mills into condos

And the factories into malls.

Where grandpa ran a lathe that turned out spindles

Now they're selling silk designer overalls.

And there's aromatherapy

Where the machines used to be.

DR: So how's it going?

TR: Not bad. You?

DR: Okay.

TR: You know Butch---

DR: Yeah. We used to work at the lumber yard.

FN: Good to see you.

TR: So what you up to nowadays?

DR: I'm working as a massage therapist. Seventy bucks an hour.

FN: Hey, not bad.

DR: Plus tips.

FN: Yeah. Nobody gave us tips at the lumber yard. That's for sure.

DR: How about you?

FN: Me? I'm a yoga instructor now. And I photograph people's auras.

DR: Oh really.

FN: Yeah. ---- It a way for people to discover the tapestry of their past lives and enrich the life you have now.

TR: Huh. I never heard you use the word "tapestry" before, Butch.

FN: Well, times change. What you up to?

TR: I'm a life coach.

FN: You? You're a plumber.

TR: Times change.

FN: What does a life coach do?

TR: Hire me and I'll show you.

FN: What happened to plumbing?

TR: Went down the toilet. (CHUCKLING)

DR: Well, a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do.

TR: So you like doing massage?

DR: It's okay. I hate the music. The guitar and flute crap. God, it drives me nuts. And the incense. And you have to whisper. Can't talk in a normal voice or it scares people.

FN: Somehow I can't believe it---- you giving massage. Your hands are all calloused.

DR: It's what I do. Just squirt some alowvera on em and squosh it around.

FN: I think it's pronounced "aloe vera".

DR: It's "alowvera" ---- cause you put it all over em. Anyway it's organ-ic.

FN: You mean organic.

DR: Organ-ic. It's good for your organs.

FN: It's organic.

DR: You telling me how to do massage? You?

FN: Don't shove me.

DR: I'm not shoving you, I'm shoving your aura. Ha ha ha ha ha.

FN: Well, I know who I'm NOT going to go to for massage.

DR: Yeah, well, ask your wife how she likes it?



They're turning the mills into health clubs

And the factories into artist studios.

We're all trying to enjoy gentrifying

But it's like dressing up dogs in fancy clothes.

Everything's hand-crafted and organic,

Sustainable, non-fat, and gluten-free.

It's okay but I miss the factory

And the way things used to be.