A Prairie Home Companion Segment 23 for May 17, 2014
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SS: These are the good years for Jim and me. We're in

Atlanta during the January blizzard and we bought up

dozens of homes people were selling in a panic and moving

to Florida and we made a bundle and so I was able to afford

botox and Jim had his jowls removed and we were

attractive again. One morning, I went downstairs to ask Jim

about maybe a vacation in Aruba and he had headphones

on and he was listening to music.


They call me the wanderer

Yeah, the wanderer----

I roam around, around, around

SS: Jim, I saw a nice health spa on Aruba---What you say

we go spend a few weeks.

TR: Why, Barb? Let's wait until I get slimmed down with

this protain powder I bought.

TR: It gives you increased muscle mass, so you burn

additional calories without any exercise whatsoever. Hey--

-- what's wrong with your face?

SS: What do you mean?

TR: Those frown lines between your eyebrows --- you

ought to get botox.

SS: I did, Jim. In February. After the snowstorm.

TR: Oh.

SS: You didn't notice, did you.

TR: I guess not.

SS: It made me feel bad that you didn't notice that the

frown lines were gone and that's what made the frown lines

come back. So now I need a complete facelift.

TR: Gosh I love this song. (SINGS TO HIMSELF) Little

Surfer, little one, you have made my life undone. How I

love you, little Surfer Girl ---OOOOOO (FALSETTO,


SS: Oh Jim. I feel so bad about those Atlantans who sold

us their homes at a fraction of their value. What do you say

we send a truckload of ketchup down there. Ketchup

contains natural mellowing agents that help prevent panic

due to weather.


These are the good times

We're putting on the Ritz.

The bloom is on the flowers

The peachtrees and peach pits

Life is flowing

Like ketchup on your grits

GK: Ketchup, for the good times.

RD: Ketchup, ketchup.