GK: Monday is Earth Day, a big deal in Austin, a green city, where people are concerned about pollution and plastic bags and about fracking, which means pumping highly pressurized liquid down a tube and into the earth's crust (SFX), breaking up the rocks down there (SFX) and thus allowing access to oil and gas deposits (GUSHER). It is not without its complications. Some people living near fracking sites are able to light their tap water on fire. (SFX). That doesn't seem right. And some people after drinking the tap water find that their voices are higher (FN: Mama!!! (CLEARS THROAT) Mama. (VOICE BREAKS) Mama?) And then of course there are the pterodactyl eggs lying dormant deep in the earth's crust, and now the fracking process (SFX) shakes them and wakes them up (SFX), and suddenly the eggs are hatching (SFX), giant pterodactyls rising from the earth's crust and flying over Austin (SFX), and carrying off bagpipers (PIPES, PTERODACTYL, PIPER CARRIED OFF). Regardless of how you feel about bagpipes, this can't be a good thing. People love Austin because the climate is beautiful (AHHHHHHH) , except when it isn't (HYPERVENTILATE) and there's so much music around (HIP HOP), music of all kinds (BANJO, SAX), and the fishing is good (CAST AND SPLASH AND REEL), and the food is excellent (CHEWING, SNARFLING) and the beer (POP TOP), so let's support the campaign to prevent pterodactyls by responsible fracking. And thank you.

GK: ...And meanwhile, how can you defend yourself against enormous prehistoric beasts? (PTERODACTYL SWOOPS). Tests show that banging the roof of your car with a ballpeen hammer is effective nine times out of ten. (GONG)