CHRISTMAS AT THE JAILHOUSE
Twas Christmas Eve at the jailhouse
For others a holiday
But my Visa card had been declined
And I'd been locked away.
I'd been shopping for my children
And I'd spared no expense
And now I sat in a prison cell
Behind a barbed wire fence.
I was there with other fathers
Who could not disappoint
Their children, so we overspent
And were locked up in the joint
And as long as my children are happy
It means the world to me
And I will gladly do my time
In the penitentiary
And then at the stroke of midnight
I heard a ho ho ho
And a jolly old man with a hacksaw
Cut the bars and said, Let's go.
He had a team of reindeer
Pulling a big red sleigh
I hopped in back with the presents
And we made our getaway.
I wish you a merry Christmas
And also Tiny Tim
Merry Christmas, Holden Caulfield
And also Huck and Jim
And maybe Captain Ahab
Can escape those cruel jaws
And I tell you, yes, Virginia,
Oh there is a Santa Claus.