Farewell, Minnesota, goodbye to St. Paul,
And my friends down at Mickey's, goodbye to you all.
I'm in New York City with a script of a play,
Called "Radio Man" and it's bound for Broadway.
It's the story of a man with a radio show
And the writing is fine though the action is slow.
It needs more conflict and darkness and fear
And I'm sure I'll be able to find those out here.
I have a phone number of a fellow in Queens
Who knows the brother of the woman who cleans
Alec Baldwin's apartment and he has a hunch
It won't be that hard to set up a lunch.
My play will be funny, satiric in mood,
Midwestern in outlook but with attitude.
There'll be rough language, though nothing too crude,
And ever so often someone will be nude.
It will be funny, right from the start
And yet very honest and touch the heart.
And it's all about struggle and how we will make it
And ever so often someone will be naked.
When it premieres, a big hit, and I get
My 2 and a half percent of the net,
I'll go back to the prairie and just be myself,
Modest and friendly, despite all my wealth.
I won't put on airs like a big Broadway star
I'll wear old clothes and drive my own car
I'll do my own cleaning and my own cooking
But I may go to New York when you're not looking