GK: .....after a word from the IRA, the Irish Revenue Authority.

TR (IRISH): If you feel burdened by excess taxes ---- and who doesn't ----- perhaps you should consider applying for Irish citizenship. We have a special rate now on non-residential citizenship. We give you a passport, you promise never to come to Ireland, and you get to pay two percent tax and wear green stockings. For an extra hundred dollars, we'll toss in a college degree and a pint of Guinness. And if you are trying to decide what to do with excess cash, why not invest in Ireland? Ireland welcomes foreign capital, and to show our gratitude, our tax rate is the lowest in the world. So don't be telling me you don't like the sound of that.


Oh Danny boy, the tax collector's calling.

It's time to move your assets cross the sea.

Our tax is small, a mickle and a muckle

And we have apples, golden apples, on the tree.