GK: The Statue of Liberty is still closed after suffering damage from Hurricane Sandy and we're going to talk to her now. How are you doing, Madame?

SS (FRENCH): "Madame" ----- if only ----- What did you say?

GK: Just said hello.

SS (FRENCH): Ahhhh! Bonjour tout le monde. Je suis le Statue of Liberty! ----

GK: Right. So how are you? Got hit by the hurricane, huh?

SS (FRENCH): Ehhhh. My shoulder hurts. But I'm 126 years old. So------ . I'll tell you the truth, though: I would kill for a cigarette. A great big cigarette. I used to smoke out in the harbor, late at night, when no one was looking, and now ----- they pass this silly law.

GK: I didn't know you smoked.

SS (FRENCH): I'm French. What can I say? We like to take chances.

GK: So what is it like to stand in one place, in one position, for 126 years?

SS (FRENCH): Oh, I've been around. I get down off this pedestal now and then, go over to Jersey, go to a casino. I went to Washington once.

GK: Really. What did you think?

SS (FRENCH): That Abraham Lincoln statue is very handsome.

GK: The Lincoln.

SS (FRENCH): A tall man in a chair, and I sang to him and tried to get him to smile and he would not. So---- ech. Never mind.

GK: So you wish you had a friend?

SS (FRENCH): It is so hard to meet someone when you are 150 feet tall. You put an ad in the personals, "Very tall woman hopes to meet open-minded gentleman willing to relocate to a small island," and he comes out on the boat and takes one look and it scares him to death. And when they find out I smoke----- ha.

GK: Yeah, but you're the most famous statue in America.

SS (FRENCH): I think about going to visit Mount Rushmore. Three big handsome men. But no bodies, just heads. So what can I do?

GK: I never thought you were lonely.

SS (FRENCH): What do you think I am carrying the torch for? For the fun of it? Non. For a man. Somebody. I'm in New York, I should have dates every night. You know how many times I've been to Manhattan? Once. Once!

GK: (CLUCKS) When did you go into Manhattan?

SS (FRENCH): A year ago. Midnight. I waded in to shore and walked very very carefully up Broadway to Times Square and it was beautiful. All lit up.

GK: Did anyone see you?

SS (FRENCH): A few people did and they never drank alcohol again. But I went back to my island and here I am. Alone. It is the human condition. Le conditione humaine. I wish they would bring a big man statue to keep me company but probably not.

GK: Well just hang in there, Madame Liberty.

SS (FRENCH): Non non. Forget it. It is too late now. I just want a cigarette. (DEEP SIGH) Sometimes I am struck by lightning and that is exciting but I am simply alone. They ought to write a song about me......


Hey Manhattan

I'm looking at you

This great big statue

In your harbor

With the Staten Island Ferry

Off to starboard.


I wish I were there

In Times Square

I wish, I hope

It could come true

I'd trade my pointed crown

I would disrobe

For a night on the town

With you.

GK: Good to talk to you. Good luck out there. The Statue of Liberty. (BAND PLAYOFF)