SS (ON RADIO): ... So if you value this radio service, please call us right now and donate at any level. We need you.

FN (ON RADIO): Become a sustaining member, and help us earn this matching challenge from Fishman Precision Kitchen -makers of fine cheese slicers and melon ballers.

SS (ON RADIO): We need to hear from 40 of you listeners in the next ten minutes, otherwise we will have to lay off our morning newscaster Peter Fiebiger starting immediately.

TR (ON RADIO): That's right. My salary is dependent on your support and if you don't call in right now, my wife and I and our newborn twins (SFX, BABY CRYING) will have to go live in her parents' unfinished basement and put our home in foreclosure. Without your help, I will be thrown under the bus and have to find work as a telemarketer. If you can't bring yourself to make a membership pledge, do you think you could donate some canned food? Maybe some baby formula?

GK: Oh, come on, give me a break.

SS (ON RADIO): Peter has been with the station for six years, and on salary for two years. He works a 90-hour week, no overtime, no benefits, and has a pre-existing condition.

FN (ON RADIO): If you don't call now and make a pledge, he and Sandy and the babies will have to go on welfare.

GK: That's just pathetic. Spare me. How low will they stoop now?


TR (ON RADIO): Please, folks. A contribution of five dollars is enough to buy formula for the babies for two days (SFX BABY CRY), ten dollars takes care of a week of diapers, so please, take a minute to call in.


SS (ON RADIO):.... Hey! You in the kitchen---- with the eggs in the mixer, we know you're there.

GK: Who, me?

FN (ON RADIO): We're talking to you, mister. You in the kitchen. In the silly apron.

GK: What?!?

SS (ON RADIO): You listen and you don't contribute, you big moocher. What are you making?


GK: I'm making a frittata, why?

SS (ON RADIO): For the cost of that frittata, you could do your share to keep this radio station going.

FN (ON RADIO): Four minutes left to call in and become a member, and save Pete's job

GK: I already gave you money, okay? Just leave me alone.

SS (ON RADIO): You gave money three years ago. We checked.

GK: Right, that's what I'm saying.

FN (ON RADIO): How would you like it if you only got one frittata every three years, huh? Could you survive on that?

TR (ON RADIO): Please, save my job.

GK: Look, let me think about it.

SS (ON RADIO): What is there to think about? We're hanging from the cliff by our fingernails. Come on.

FN (ON RADIO): You know it's the right thing to do. So just do it, okay? We don't want to keep begging. Just pick up the phone and do the right thing-


FN (ON RADIO): Two minutes left.

GK: Look, even if I did get out my wallet right now, I don't know if I could enter the information online in enough time to meet this matching grant.

SS (ON RADIO): Well just try, for god's sake! What are you standing there for?

GK: Fine. I'll go get it.

FN (ON RADIO): Please run. A minute and forty five seconds.



GK: Okay, hang on a second. Sometimes it takes a second to wake my laptop back up.

FN (ON RADIO): Just press a key. Tap anything. (SFX) Are you doing it?

GK: I'm doing it.

FN (ON RADIO): Well do it faster.


GK: Okay here it is.

SS (ON RADIO): LPR.org. Local public radio.

GK: Yeah I know.

TR (ON RADIO): The babies are hungry. (SFX)

GK: Okay I'm there. Now what do I do?

SS (ON RADIO): Enter your information. ENTER IT!!!!

TR (ON RADIO): One minute left.

GK: W-Y-L-E-R -whoops I hit the T. Back back (KEYBOARD)

FN (ON RADIO): How many more pledges do we need, Madison?

SS (ON RADIO): One. Just one more. Just this guy.

GK: I'm typing as fast as I can.

FN (ON RADIO): Forty seconds left.

GK: I don't know which card to use. My personal, or my business one.

SS (ON RADIO): It doesn't matter, just pick one, PLEASE HURRY!

GK: -- 674-0072. There.

FN (ON RADIO): Thirty seconds left.

GK: I just hit submit. (A BEAT) There was an error, please re-enter data.

SS (ON RADIO): Oh my god.

FN (ON RADIO): Did you put in the expiration date?

GK: Yes.

FN (ON RADIO): Did you put in the security code?

GK: The what?

FN (ON RADIO): The security code.


GK: Where is that?

SS (ON RADIO): It's on the back of your card. Three digits. Flip your card over, do it now!!!

GK: Okay.

FN (ON RADIO): Twelve seconds.

GK: 456, enter. (A BEAT) There was an error, please re-enter data.


FN (ON RADIO): Eight seconds. Are you sure you entered the right code?

TR (ON RADIO): I guess I lost my job. Come on, babies.


GK: Oh wait, it's 436. I don't have my glasses on.

FN (ON RADIO): Enter it now! Type it in!

GK: Okay, okay! (TYPING)

FN (ON RADIO): Three seconds. Two, one--)