GK: Brought to you by Fritz Electronics ----

Shop at Fritz for our new nuclear-powered paper shredder ---- it does paper (SFX) and CDs (SFX) and it does unwanted Christmas gifts like this fruitcake (SFX) and this box of candy (SFX) and these little wooden doo-dads (SFX) and this ugly ugly sweater (SFX) and this ugly pottery (SFX) and it grinds everything up to a fine powder (SFX) and you add water (SFX) and it shapes the powder into bricks (SFX) you can use to pave your patio.

The Fritz Electronic voice changer: just hold it to your mouth and you get Southern (FN), Ivy League (FN), Midwestern (FN), L.A. (FN), Canadian (FN), Zombie (FN), and many others. Use the Voice Changer to fend off telemarkers (FN LURLEEN: I have no idea where he is. He moved out months ago.) Or fool your own wife (FN GROWLY: Yeah, he's here at work, but he's in a meeting. I'll have him call you.)

Here's a Snow thrower that really throws (START ENGINE), cleans snow off the sidewalk and packs it into hard chunks (SFX) and then it hurls them 50 or 60 feet (CATAPULT) into the neighbor's yard.

GK: The electronic motivation belt. Strap it on for your daily workout and it keeps pushing you to do better. (RUNNING FOOTSTEPS) ELECTRONIC VOICE: You can do better than this. You call this running I can't believe it---- you're slowing down? You just got started. What's wrong with you?"

Fritz Electronics.