Well I went up to A.S.U.

Looking for something great to do

I majored in English and I read Shakespeare

And now I'm ready to begin a career.


In Tucson, working at a drive-in

In Tucson, whaddayaknow

In Tucson, how about fries with that

Please pull up to the second window.

GK: If you're an English major, you graduate with more knowledge and understanding than the world know what to do with.

TR (RECITE): How weary, stale, flat, and unprofitable

Seem to me all the uses of this world!

Things rank and gross in nature

Possess it merely.

GK: This person is not going to be good at retail sales, and so we put him at a microphone speaking to people through a little box under the illuminated menu.

TR: Welcome to Burger Prince, would you like the Hamlet Burger, fries, and soda for $1.78?

GK: And though it seems like menial work, you are making contact with hundreds of people a day, and one day----

SS: Yes, I would like the Hamlet Burger, and sir?

TR: Yeah?

SS: Something in your voice tells me that you are a person whose sensibility we're looking for in the world of women's fashion.

TR: Yeah?

SS: My name is Stephanie Narsiss and I am a designer of women's nighties and underwear. How would you like to get into underwear?

TR: Oh wow.

SS: I can only offer you a hundred grand to start but the benefits are spectacular.

TR: Hey. I'm there. I'm all over it.

BAND: You may have to work in a drive-in

Do day-care or drive a bus,

Eventually your time will come

And you'll become big stars like us.

English majors, where is the money

Go ahead, make a demand

English is a beautiful language

Don't accept less than a hundred grand.