TR: These are the good years for Barb and me. The new senior citizen center got finished across the street and every day a few pitiful elderly persons come an knock on our door with their little trembly hands and their Grateful Dead T-shirts and they say, Dude, where is the senior center? And I say, "It's that big ugly building" and they tip me a dollar and five minutes later they come back and they say, "Dude, which one?" and I say, "Right over there" and they tip me another dollar, or sometimes a twenty, you never know. Fifty-seven bucks just today. It sure beats working. I'm thinking I may start selling brownies made with Metamucil. I came in the kitchen to talk to Barb about it and found her all hot and bothered. What's wrong?
SS: Oh, Jim. Look. I just went on Facebook and I saw your ex-girlfriend Pam's page and ----- listen----- "Jack and I are in a mountain village in Peru where we've joined an insurgency group fighting for human rights and we've both learned to use automatic rifles. We feel so alive, so needed."
TR: So? What's the problem?
SS: You could've married somebody exciting. Instead of me.
TR: Ehhh. She always was dramatic, Barb. That's why we broke up.
SS: Well, look at this. It's Kevin.
TR: Who's he?
SS: You know. Kevin.
TR: The one who begged you to marry him? The one who got down on one knee in a food court?
SS: Anyway, he says, "I'm moving to Hawaii, and I'm selling my Facebook stock for sixty-seven m--" Well, isn't that something. ------Huh........Well, it doesn't matter.
TR: Let me see.
SS: No, it doesn't matter. I had no idea he owned stock in Facebook ----- well, never mind--.
TR: I hope you're not posting anything for us. Are you?
SS: I said that we're on a high-catchup diet and that we're intensely in love.
TR: We are? I didn't know that.
SS: Well, I guess we better stay on Facebook then. So you can find out these things. Here, "like" my status update.
TR: Barb. That's tacky.
SS: Like it, Jim. Here's the laptop. And then I'm sharing to their walls. Pam and Kevin. Like it Jim. Come on. Do it.
These are the good times.
The economy is steady.
Days are getting longer,
Spring is ripe and ready.
Life is flowing
Like ketchup on spaghetti.
GK: Ketchup, for the good times.
RD: Ketchup, ketchup.