GK: Air travel can be so expensive these days, but you can save three-quarters of your fare, or more, if you don't care where you're going, you just want to go. Just walk up to any ticket counter and say:
FN: Send me somewhere.
GK: And they'll print you out a ticket (SFX) on their next flight with empty seats. You could go to Monterey (SURF, GULLS) or Montenegro (BOUZOUKI, CRIES OF DANCERS) or Minot, North Dakota (TRACTOR, COW). And isn't that what travel is all about? Being open to new experiences.
It's called the Getaway Plan. For when you just want to get out of town.
Why pay four times more to fly to London when you could go cheaply to Princeton, Minnesota (COWS) or Oxford, Mississippi (FN: Well bless your heart) or Soho in New York City (FN: Umbrella umbrella umbrella umbrella!).
As you well know, the price of flying to smaller American cities can be extortionate.
SS: WHAT?????? EIGHT HUNDRED BUCKS TO FLY TO BERLIN, NEW HAMPSHIRE??
GK: Why not fly for a fraction of that to the other Berlin? (TR FRIENDLY GERMAN)
TR: (EXTREMELY FAST) Ticket price does not include baggage handling, in-flight beverages or bathroom access. Must leave immediately. All sales final.
SS: I was going to fly to Moscow, Idaho to visit my cousin but the fare was so high so instead I went to Russia and met Dmitri (TR ROMANTIC RUSSIAN). Wow. What a time we had. (TR RUSSIAN CHUCKLES) Never would've happened to me in Idaho.
GK: The point is: things you plan so often turn out to be a disappointment, and things that happen by chance can be so memorable. You pay $50 and get on a plane, a little older plane (PROPELLER WARMING UP, ENGINE MISSING) and the flight attendants wear red bandanas and back around row 28 (GIBBERISH) people are roasting a chicken over hot coals in the aisle and the pilot comes on (FN ALIEN TONGUE) and you know this is a trip you're going to remember forever. (ENGINE REV)
SS: I was planning to go to New Hampshire and it was cheaper to go to New Zealand. So I did.
TR: I was headed for Beijing and they gave me Beirut for half the price. (GUNFIRE) What a city!
GK: It's a travel opportunity like no other. Just go to the airport and ask for the Getaway Plan.
FN (SINGS): Fly away. Leave today.
Go somewhere. I don't care.
Jedda, Jacksonville or Japan.
Fly on the Getaway Plan.
TR (EXTREMELY FAST UNDER LAST CHORD): Ticket price does not include baggage handling, in-flight beverages or bathroom access. Must leave immediately. All sales final.