GK: People come from out of town to see our show and they say, You're in St. Paul, right? Right. And that's near Minneapolios? Yes, across the river. Well, I've been to Minneapolis but I've never been to St. Paul. What's St. Paul like? It's like St. Paul. Well, like, where should I eat/ You have restaurants in St. Paul, right? Yes, we do. They're just different. It's hard to explain. Here, for example, is lunch in a Minneapolis restaurant.
(PIANO, PHILIP GLASSLIKE MUSIC)
TR (SLIGHTLY FRENCH): Welcome to Le Cafe, my name is Cameron, I'll be your wait person today. A few specials not on the menu ---- our pasta special is mussolini lightly dressed with clarified algae and a parsnip froth. Our soup special is cream of watercress with gluten-free croutons drizzled with a smoked tofu emulsion. And the fish special is our walleye sushi served on a bed of jasmine rice and root vegetable puree. All of the vegetables were grown within the Minneapolis city limits and harvested by non-smokers and delivered by bicycle and all of the cafe's waste is composted and your napkins are 65% recycled cardboard. And I am certified in CPR and in multicultural diversity. Any questions?
GK: This is lunch in St. Paul.
SS: (OLDER WAITRESS) So how we doing? Specials are on the blackboard there. (OFF) HEY KATHY!!!! WHAT DOES THAT SAY? MINESTRONE? (VOICE OFF) Yeah, it's minestrone.
GK: You have any other soup today?
SS (OLDER WAITRESS): Minestrone or chicken and rice.
GK: How about French onion?
SS (OLDER WAITRESS): Got it, but you don't want it. Too much cheese. Give you gas like you wouldn't believe. That's why I left the door open. Phew.....
GK: Is that goulash up there?
SS: (OLDER WAITRESS) Right, goulash. You want that?
GK: What's in it?
SS (OLDER): What do you mean?
GK: What's in it?
SS (OLDER): You want the recipe?
GK: Just curious what sort of goulash it is.
SS (OLDER): It's goulash.
GK: Okay. Never mind.
SS (OLDER): She chops up leftover meat, you got egg noodles---- I don't know ----- (OFF) Hey, CATHY!!!! WHAT'S IN THE GOULASH?? (VOICE OFF) She says it's just goulash.
GK: Okay. Could I have that, and a salad?
SS (OLDER WAITRESS): Iceberg lettuce and tomatoes, or cole slaw, or potato salad.
GK: Iceberg lettuce.
SS (OLDER WAITRESS): Good choice. What kind of dressing?
GK: How about oil and vinegar?
SS (OLDER WAITRESS): We got French or ranch.
GK: No Italian?
SS (OLDER WAITRESS):
SS (OLDER): I could pour minestrone on it. What to drink?
GK: Do you have a wine list?
SS (OLDER WAITRESS): A what list?
GK: Wine list.
SS (OLDER WAITRESS): Just a minute. (OFF) HEY CATHY!!! WE GOT A WINE LIST? (VOICE OFF) No.
GK: Do you have a fish special?
SS (OLDER WAITRESS): Fish is on Friday. Today is Saturday.
GK: Yes, ma'am. ----- That's St. Paul. That's where our show comes from.