TK: The Writer's Theater.
SS: What a beautiful day for a walk in the country, Jerome. It's so peaceful and serene.
TR: Not sure it's a good idea to walk on the railroad tracks though, Julie.
SS: I don't think any trains still run on these tracks. Do you?
TR: Probably not. ----Listen, I'm going to go down in those bushes. I'll be right back.
SS: You don't have to go behind a tree, honey ----- we've been dating for thirteen years.
TR: Don't worry about it. I'm okay. I'll be right back. (FOOTSTEPS)
SS: He is so modest he has to draw the shades when he changes his mind. (CRUNCH) Ohhhhh. Darn. My foot got stuck in the switch. How silly. (STRAINS) Wow. It's really IN there----- (DISTANT TRAIN WHISTLE) ------
Jerome!!!!??? Jerome????? (TRAIN WHISTLE)
GK: Hello? You okay?
SS: Who are you?
GK: Just taking a walk. You okay?
SS: My foot is stuck in the track.
GK: How did that happen?
SS: I just stepped in the wrong place.
GK: Well, let me see----- (TRAIN WHISTLE CLOSER) looks like the whole sole is wedged in here under that flange.
SS: The train is coming closer, isn't it-----
GK: It's a ways away. I just don't see how this shoe got wedged in here like that. Did you twist your foot as you stepped down?
SS: Just get me out of here. (TRAIN WHISTLE CLOSER) Jerome!
GK: Who's Jerome?
SS: My boyfriend.
GK: Where is he?
SS: In the woods. (TRAIN WHISTLE) Just help me.
GK: You'll be fine. (CELLPHONE RING) Hello?
SS: What are you doing?
GK: Hi Keith. No, I'm here on the old abandoned rail line south of Hickock. Woman has her foot stuck in a rail. Yeah, stuck between the rail and the tie. (WHISTLE) Listen, I'll call you back.
SS: Hang up and get me out of here.
GK: You're going to be home after 6 ----- okay, got you. I gotta go. (LAUGHS) Right, right. I remember him. Tall guy.
SS: Help! Help!!!
GK: Yeah. Well, she's a little panicky. I'll talk to you later. Okay.
SS: Help! Help!
GK: Okay. Bye now. Bye.
SS: Please. Hurry. (TRAIN WHISTLE, CLOSE) The train is coming! I can feel the tracks shaking! Hurry. I'm going to die.
GK: You know what, I think if I just unlace your shoe---- like that----- there------ got it----- come this way----- there you go-----
SS: Hurry. HURRY!!!!
GK: I knew we'd get it.
SS: I almost got killed.
GK: I wouldn't let that happen. Not to you. Come on. Let's go.
SS: Go where?
GK: Over there.
SS: I don't have a shoe.
GK: Oh. (FOOTSTEPS APPROACH)
TR: Hi. Everything okay? Who's he?
SS: Just a friend.
TR: What's he doing? Where's your shoe?
GK: It got run over by a train. Where were you?
SS: He went down in the valley to pee.
TR: Let go of her arm, mister.
GK: I'm helping her down the slope.
TR: Well, just leave her alone.
GK: You're the one who left her alone, bozo.
TR: Who you calling Bozo?
GK: I'll show you who. (SWINGS, KONK, TR FALLS) There.
SS: Why'd you do that?
GK: He's not good enough for you, that's why.
SS: I could've told you that a long time ago.
GK: Here. I'll carry you.
SS: It's a long way to town.
GK: Got my horse right here. (WHINNY) Up you go.
SS: Wait. Do you turn out the lights when you kiss?
SS: Okay, let's go.
GK: Giddup. (SFX)
SS: Oh wow. This is so exciting. Who are you? What do you do for a living?
GK: I'm a writer.
SS: What sort of things do you write?
GK: Good things. Of all sorts. I wrote this. What we're doing now.
SS: You wrote this script?
SS: What happens when we get to town?
GK: You'll be wildly in love with me and we'll marry and buy a house and have two kids and we'll be very happy for awhile and then I'll run away and break your heart.
SS: Why can't we be happy for a long time?
GK: Happy stories are boring. Bad people are more interesting.
SS: So that's why you're going to break my heart-----
GK: That's right.
SS: Well, look at what jumped into my right hand. Mr. Samuel Colt. (SPINS CARTRIDGE CHAMBER) Bet you didn't count on your heroine being armed, Mr. Writer Man.
SS: What're you going to do about it?
GK: Well, I could make that an unloaded pistol.
SS: Too simple.
GK: I could have a bird fly out of the sky and screech and distract you and I'd grab the gun away from you.
SS: Much too simple.
GK: I'll make the story surrealistic and a giraffe will appear with a clock around its neck pushing a 6-foot orange.
SS: Go ahead.
GK: I could do it.
SS: Be my guest.
GK: You want me to?
SS: I know you can't.
SS: So I'm the author of the story now.
TR: No, you're not. I am.
TR: I'm taking over now. Give me the gun, Julie, he said, in a tone of command that she had never heard before.
SS: Jerome. You're like a different person. You're so definite.
TR: I want you, Julie, and I'm going to take you away from him. Jerome looked at the man on the horse with undisguised hostility.
GK: I don't care about your hostility. And you're not going to have Julie, Jerome.
TR: What are you going to do about it, Writer?
GK: This. (CRASHING THROUGH LEAVES)
SS: LOOK OUT!!!! (BWAMMMMM) Oh my gosh. A 500-pound anvil dropped out of that tree onto his head. You did it. You killed him.
GK: I did.
SS: You drove him right into the ground.
GK: And in your shock, you tossed the gun in the air and I have it. (SPIN CHAMBER)
SS: I guess you win. For now. But just wait. -----"Just wait," she thought. "One night while you're sleeping I will get out paper and pen and I will write my own story and it will be very different from this one. Very different."
GK: No interior dialogue, please.
SS: "I will think whatever I want to think and there's nothing whatsoever you can do about it."
GK: I'm the writer, if I want you to think something I will write it.
SS: "That's what you think."
GK: Giddup. (HORSE WHINNIES, GALLOPS)
TK: That was the Writer's Theater.