TK: The Writer's Theater.


SS: What a beautiful day for a walk in the country, Jerome. It's so peaceful and serene.

TR: Not sure it's a good idea to walk on the railroad tracks though, Julie.

SS: I don't think any trains still run on these tracks. Do you?

TR: Probably not. ----Listen, I'm going to go down in those bushes. I'll be right back.

SS: You don't have to go behind a tree, honey ----- we've been dating for thirteen years.

TR: Don't worry about it. I'm okay. I'll be right back. (FOOTSTEPS)

SS: He is so modest he has to draw the shades when he changes his mind. (CRUNCH) Ohhhhh. Darn. My foot got stuck in the switch. How silly. (STRAINS) Wow. It's really IN there----- (DISTANT TRAIN WHISTLE) ------

Jerome!!!!??? Jerome????? (TRAIN WHISTLE)

GK: Hello? You okay?

SS: Who are you?

GK: Just taking a walk. You okay?

SS: My foot is stuck in the track.

GK: How did that happen?

SS: I just stepped in the wrong place.

GK: Well, let me see----- (TRAIN WHISTLE CLOSER) looks like the whole sole is wedged in here under that flange.

SS: The train is coming closer, isn't it-----

GK: It's a ways away. I just don't see how this shoe got wedged in here like that. Did you twist your foot as you stepped down?

SS: Just get me out of here. (TRAIN WHISTLE CLOSER) Jerome!

GK: Who's Jerome?

SS: My boyfriend.

GK: Where is he?

SS: In the woods. (TRAIN WHISTLE) Just help me.

GK: You'll be fine. (CELLPHONE RING) Hello?

SS: What are you doing?

GK: Hi Keith. No, I'm here on the old abandoned rail line south of Hickock. Woman has her foot stuck in a rail. Yeah, stuck between the rail and the tie. (WHISTLE) Listen, I'll call you back.

SS: Hang up and get me out of here.

GK: You're going to be home after 6 ----- okay, got you. I gotta go. (LAUGHS) Right, right. I remember him. Tall guy.

SS: Help! Help!!!

GK: Yeah. Well, she's a little panicky. I'll talk to you later. Okay.

SS: Help! Help!

GK: Okay. Bye now. Bye.

SS: Please. Hurry. (TRAIN WHISTLE, CLOSE) The train is coming! I can feel the tracks shaking! Hurry. I'm going to die.

GK: You know what, I think if I just unlace your shoe---- like that----- there------ got it----- come this way----- there you go-----

SS: Hurry. HURRY!!!!


GK: I knew we'd get it.

SS: I almost got killed.

GK: I wouldn't let that happen. Not to you. Come on. Let's go.

SS: Go where?

GK: Over there.

SS: I don't have a shoe.


TR: Hi. Everything okay? Who's he?

SS: Just a friend.

TR: What's he doing? Where's your shoe?

GK: It got run over by a train. Where were you?

SS: He went down in the valley to pee.

TR: Let go of her arm, mister.

GK: I'm helping her down the slope.

TR: Well, just leave her alone.

GK: You're the one who left her alone, bozo.

TR: Who you calling Bozo?

GK: I'll show you who. (SWINGS, KONK, TR FALLS) There.

SS: Why'd you do that?

GK: He's not good enough for you, that's why.

SS: I could've told you that a long time ago.

GK: Here. I'll carry you.

SS: It's a long way to town.

GK: Got my horse right here. (WHINNY) Up you go.

SS: Wait. Do you turn out the lights when you kiss?

GK: Never.

SS: Okay, let's go.

GK: Giddup. (SFX)

SS: Oh wow. This is so exciting. Who are you? What do you do for a living?

GK: I'm a writer.

SS: What sort of things do you write?

GK: Good things. Of all sorts. I wrote this. What we're doing now.

SS: You wrote this script?

GK: Indeed.

SS: What happens when we get to town?

GK: You'll be wildly in love with me and we'll marry and buy a house and have two kids and we'll be very happy for awhile and then I'll run away and break your heart.

SS: Why can't we be happy for a long time?

GK: Happy stories are boring. Bad people are more interesting.

SS: So that's why you're going to break my heart-----

GK: That's right.

SS: Well, look at what jumped into my right hand. Mr. Samuel Colt. (SPINS CARTRIDGE CHAMBER) Bet you didn't count on your heroine being armed, Mr. Writer Man.

GK: Interesting.

SS: What're you going to do about it?

GK: Well, I could make that an unloaded pistol.

SS: Too simple.

GK: I could have a bird fly out of the sky and screech and distract you and I'd grab the gun away from you.

SS: Much too simple.

GK: I'll make the story surrealistic and a giraffe will appear with a clock around its neck pushing a 6-foot orange.

SS: Go ahead.

GK: I could do it.

SS: Be my guest.

GK: You want me to?

SS: I know you can't.

GK: Oh?

SS: So I'm the author of the story now.

TR: No, you're not. I am.

SS: Jerome!

TR: I'm taking over now. Give me the gun, Julie, he said, in a tone of command that she had never heard before.

SS: Jerome. You're like a different person. You're so definite.

TR: I want you, Julie, and I'm going to take you away from him. Jerome looked at the man on the horse with undisguised hostility.

GK: I don't care about your hostility. And you're not going to have Julie, Jerome.

TR: What are you going to do about it, Writer?


SS: LOOK OUT!!!! (BWAMMMMM) Oh my gosh. A 500-pound anvil dropped out of that tree onto his head. You did it. You killed him.

GK: I did.

SS: You drove him right into the ground.

GK: And in your shock, you tossed the gun in the air and I have it. (SPIN CHAMBER)

SS: I guess you win. For now. But just wait. -----"Just wait," she thought. "One night while you're sleeping I will get out paper and pen and I will write my own story and it will be very different from this one. Very different."

GK: No interior dialogue, please.

SS: "I will think whatever I want to think and there's nothing whatsoever you can do about it."

GK: I'm the writer, if I want you to think something I will write it.

SS: "That's what you think."



TK: That was the Writer's Theater.