GK: ...brought to you by the Professional Organization of English Majors. Did you know that nine out of ten attractive women secretly yearn for men who majored in English? Sensitive men with hornrim glasses and modulated voices who are not disingenuous or oblivious to a woman's desires.


TR (PUNK): Hey, dollface. What is a knockout like you doin' with a gink like him, huh? Whyntcha try a real man like me?

SS (RUSSIAN): I luff him. He is my dollink. I luff how he speaks English. He is an English major.

TR (RICO): English major! Ha! He's nothing but a pencil-necked geek!

GK: Only an English major can do justice to a woman of splendor. Her luminous skin, her refulgent brow, her
sunrise of a smile, and her voluptuous eyes. And her ravenous lust for life.

SS (RUSSIAN): Luminous. You are my dollink, my Eenglish major. You are so hot.

TR (PUNK): Curses. Foiled again. By an English major. (HE SULKS OFF)

GK: Language: it says so much sometimes. Nothing speaks louder than words if you know how to use them. A message from the Professional Organization Of English Majors.