I go to church every Sunday morn
I've been going since I was born
Starting to think there's something I missed
By being a Methodist.
I got the Methodist blues.

The organ's too loud, the pastor's unhappy
A six-day week and the pay is crappy
Problems? We've got a whole long list
But we can't say cause we're Methodist
Got the Methodist blues

Ceiling leaks and the sound system's hummin'
Collection's low cause nobody's comin'
This great big debt load we been carryin
Maybe we shoulda been Presbyterian

I've been going since I was a kid
I keep going cause my parents did
Doesn't have much to do with the Bible
Church is a club, it's downright tribal
I got the Methodist blues

Our theology gets thinner and thinner
We don't talk about saving the sinner
Sometimes I wonder if God exists
But I can't cause I am a Methodist
I got the Methodist blues

Nobody goes to Adult Bible Study
The people who do are sort of nutty
Disagree with them, they get hostile
Wish I was brought up pentecostal

Got no purpose, got no mission
Just layers and layers of tradition
Just another retail business
Everything picks up around Christmas
I got the Methodist blues

The minister is way to the left
The organist is almost deaf
The choir is getting long in the tooth
Got no youth director cause there ain't no youth
I got the Methodist blues.

Lots of restlessness in the pews
People want the sermon to reflect their views
If it doesn't, they can be caustic
Maybe I should be an agnostic

Everyone's afraid of change.
Don't like anything new or strange.
Or we get our underwear in a twist
That's how it is with a Methodist
I got the Methodist blues

We run a food shelf for the poor,
Box of canned goods by the door
Every month, one of the elders
Takes it down to the local shelter
I got the Methodist blues

People gossip about who did what,
The ladies circle is a pain in the butt.
Some of these Christians, they are the rudest
Maybe I'll try being Buddhist.

People volunteer then don't remember
Don't show up and you lose your temper
Sit and steam and clench your fist
But you can't hit them, you're Methodist,
Got the Methodist blues.

It is a desperate situation
Here in the mainline denomination
We've got the blues and we're getting more bluish
Maybe we're actually Jewish.n

But Sunday comes and I'll be there
Dressed up saying the Lord's Prayer
I'm discouraged but I persist
By God I am a Methodist

I got the Methodist blues