GK: ....after a word from the Ketchup Advisory Board.

TR: It was an October like any other October, golden days and the woods a thing of beauty, red and orange and golden, and so you and your true love find a little river town with a Main Street and a park with a Civil War cannon and all these beautiful old houses with screened porches and a boy riding his bike down the street and tossing the newspaper up on the porch steps and girls skipping rope and you find a bed-and-breakfast in a beautifully restored Victorian house full of old furniture and lace doilies and potpourri dishes run by a couple named Dave and Debbie who gave up life in a big corporation to retire to a small town and you go to bed feeling contented but the next morning, something is wrong. There's no hot water for the shower. You tell Dave and he says, "Oh shut up. Sick of you." Debbie brings in a box of corn flakes and a jar of instant coffee for breakfast. You say, "Is that all?" and she says, "What'd you expect, Wide Ride?" You go for a walk around the little town and geese are flying over in X-formation and a Boy Scout takes your arm and tries to lead you across the street in front of a speeding semi. The sign in front of the Lutheran church says, "Lutherans Only. Others Go Away. We Have Guns." And you think, "Something's wrong. This town is not getting enough ketchup." So you make some phone calls and the ketchup truck pulls up and a few hours later, everything is okay again. A paperboy rides by on his bike, whistling, and shopkeepers say, "Howdy, top of the day," and the Boy Scouts make the trucks stop for you and ...
TR: ...there's hot water for the shower and Debbie makes scrambled eggs for breakfast. With ketchup. Naturally.

RD: These are the good times, the colors of the trees,
Campfires and wild geese and lovely memories,
Life is flowing like ketchup on your cheese.

GK: Ketchup...for the good times.

RD: ...Ketchup...ketchup...ketchup.