GK:...after a word from the Ketchup Advisory Board.

TR: These are the good years for me and Barb. She thinks I should say "Barb and me" but I'm the one who put in the air conditioners. And she's the one who sat in front of the TV watching the World Cup.


TR: I didn't know you cared for soccer, Barb.

SS: Well I don't. But I'm just excited that everybody else is excited, you know? And I just think it's fair. After all these years, Europe has never won a World Series or a Super Bowl. Neither has Asia or Africa. So I think we should watch other countries win, even if it is intensely boring.

TR: I can't stand soccer.

SS: Look, Jim---- the fans ---- they're all excited and blowing on their little vuvuzelas.

TR: What a horrible sound.


TR: It's like goats being castrated.

SS: The players don't seem to mind it-----

TR: They hate it. They just don't say anything.

SS: That seems odd, doesn't it?

TR: Not when you've been married for 45 years.

SS: What does that mean?

TR: And the field is too big. It's like watching antelope running around on the open plain. It'd be more exciting to watch cars going in and out of a parking lot.

SS: Oh Jim-----

TR: It's like watching marbles roll around in a baking dish. Random motion. I like baseball. First, second, and third base. And home. You always know where you are.

SS: You know, Jim, maybe you're not getting enough ketchup.

TR: Oh?

SS: Ketchup contains natural mellowing agents that help us accept other cultures' strange rituals, even if they are irritating to us and seem pointless and absurd.

TR: I don't think they use much ketchup in Europe.


SS: It's like New Year's.


These are the good times
Summer is a ballad
A time of relaxation
Makes everyone feel valid.
Life is flowing
Like ketchup on a salad.

GK: Ketchup, for the good times.

RD: Ketchup, ketchup.