GK: We're in New York, famous for fine dining, and meanwhile, on the dark side streets of dining, you find little French restaurants that New Yorkers don't go to because they cater to people from the Midwest, like the Cafe Boeuf on West 43rd Street with your host, Antoine, the maitre'd. Joyeux Noel, Antoine.
TR: You what? You are enjoying your hotel?
GK: Joyeux Noel. Merry Christmas.
TR: Ah! Christmas! Of course. Joyeux Noel.
GK: That's what I said, Joyeux Noel.
TR: You're doing well?
GK: Never mind. Do you have a table for one? A possible two, but I don't think so.
TR: She changed her mind?
GK: She had other plans.
TR: I can see why-- your shoes are a disgrace-- (FRENCH CONTEMPT)
GK: You have something against sneakers?
TR: Those sneakers, yes. Here-- let me do your hair.
GK: Really? It looks that bad?
TR: Just hold still ---- (FRENCH MURMURS, AS HE RE-STYLES HAIR) So--so-so----- and there. (SPRAY) There. Better. Now the eyebrows. (MURMURS, SNIPS) There.
GK: You do this to all the customers?
TR: I don't want people passing by to look at you and think this is a barbecue place. What can I bring you?
GK: What's your special today?
TR: We have the (FRENCH) and we have the (FRENCH) and we have the (FRENCH).
GK: Give me the (FRENCH)--
TR: What? My wife's suitcase is in your car? I have no idea what you're saying, monsieur.
GK: Just bring me one of your specials.
TR: Which one? We have the (FRENCH) and the (FRENCH) and the (FRENCH).
GK: The first one.
TR: You mean, the (FRENCH)?
GK: Yes. What is that?
TR: That is a sheep's colon stuffed with parsley and nightcrawlers.
GK: Ah. Okay. How about a hamburger?
TR: You wish a Hamburger Nicoise, a Hamburger Strasbourg or a Hamburger (FRENCH)?
GK: How about a Hamburger Americaine? With pommes frites?
TR: How would you like your hamburger Americaine, monsieur?
TR: Rare!! (FRENCH ADMIRATION)
GK: Yes. Rare.
TR: Rare!! (FRENCH SHIVER OF EXCITEMENT AND SOPHISTICATED LAUGH) I salute you, monsieur. (TWO KISSES ON EACH CHEEK)
GK: And a glass of red wine. What do you recommend? A California red?
TR: A what? California? What is that? I don't know that wine. Non non. I will bring you a glass of (FRENCH).
GK: Very good.
TR: And a gramophone., monsieur.
GK: Thank you, monsieur.
(NEEDLE ON RECORD, THEN SS SINGS AS PIAF:
Quand il me prend dans ses bras
Il me parle tout bas,
Je vois la vie en rose.
Il me dit des mots d'amour,
Des mots de tous les jours,
Et ca me fait quelque chose.
GK: The Cafe Boeuf New York....The home of heroism and passion and irony and (KNOWING FRENCH LAUGH)----- (PLAYOFF)