GK: ...Brought to you by The Fearmonger's shop, serving your phobia needs since 1947. We're in New York in December because back in Minnesota, winter is starting to get serious --- the sky is dark gray and snow is falling---- (TR RADIO: .....and the forcast: snow continuing today and tonight and tomorrow and next week.....) ---- and snow is blowing (WIND) and children are lost in the blizzard (SS: Jeff??? Megan??? Sean???? ) (WOLF HOWLS) and that's why so many people spend winter in Florida ---- fear of the Big Blizzard has driven them into a swamp (EXOTIC BIRDS) where poisonous snakes dangle from tree limbs (SNAKE) and psychotic hitchhikers wait in rest areas (BREATHING) and alligators roam the golf courses (SWING, CLICK, SPLASH ---- FN: My ball landed in that pond, Bob. I'll just reach in here and ---- (BLOODTHIRSTY ROAR, No no no no------- RIP OF ARM. FN SHUDDER OF PAIN) ---- people go live in a swamp rather than endure winter (SFX) life becomes very grim (SLOW FOOTSTEPS IN DEEP SNOW, TR TO HIMSELF: Gotta survive. Gotta get meat. Gotta kill. Gotta feed my family. MEOW. PAUSE. C'mere, kitty. C'mere, Snowball. It's me. Daddy. C'mere. MEOW.) ---- And you wish you'd paid more attention in Scouts to the talk on fire-building.... (FN: Okay, fellas, watch how I wrap the string around this stick and I spin it so it lights the tinder. See? SPINNING, DRILLING, BURST OF FLAME)
GK: Your inability to make fire troubles you.
TR: I can't do it. I tried and I can't.
SS: Can't do what?
TR: I'm a Ph.D in physics and I can't make a fire.
SS: You can make water.
TR: I can. But I can't make fire. We could move to Florida but I doubt that I'd be able to defend my family against a charging alligator with my bare hands.
SS: I think you could -- with that pair of commando boots from the Fearmonger's shop.
TR: Commando boots?
GK: Commando boots come with flame-throwers in the toes. You just stamp your feet three times and (STAMPS, FLAME BURST) a pillar of fire 20 feet long scorches anything in its way. And it lights fires.
TR: With my commando boots, I feel capable of handling any situation -- wild gator or big blizzard (STAMPS, FLAME BURST)
GK: ...from the Fearmonger's Shop...