Nessun Dorma
Nessun Dorma
Why should tenors sing it
It would sound so much nicer
And much more artistic if it were sung
By a soprano.
I was the star of the Bismarck Opera
And I sang the lead role in Turandot
And I loved Nessun dorma
Which was sung by the tenor
Who was a little jerk with very bad breath

I thought of shooting him
Or killing him with a coat hanger
Maybe a pillow
I put cyanide in his wine
It works very nicely
I went out on stage and I sang
Nessun dorma so beautifully

I got a five-minute standing ovation
But the maestro was furious
I was fired
I got a job in town
As a choir director
They never suspected I had done it
A soprano can get away with murder
I may look innocent
But I would kill for the chance to sing
Nessun dorma.