TR (ANNC): And now, the Adventures of Earl Sanderson, Eagle Scout, and his dog Crispy (ARF ARF) Brought to you by Tasty Morsels Breakfast Cereal...the nutritious oat cereal with a valuable prize in every single box. And now, today's story.
GK: Hello? Hello? Is anybody down there? Hello?
SS (OFF): Hello?
GK: Yes! I'm up here! On the ferris wheel that got stuck.
SS (OFF): I know that, sir, and we're doing everything we can to fix it.
GK: Okay, but it's been stuck for awhile.
SS (OFF): You could just climb down the girders of the ferris wheel, sir. Other passengers have done that.
GK: I realize that, but I have a fear of falling.
SS (OFF): Then you didn't read the warning???
GK: Which one?
SS: It's printed on the back of your ticket. --Persons afflicted with fear of heights should not ride the Ferris Wheel.--
GK: It's sort of small type.
SS: Well, it's there. -- Your girlfriend climbed down all by herself.
GK: I know that.
SS: So why can't you?
GK: Is she still down there?
SS: No, she waited for awhile and then she went away with someone.
SS: I don't know. Somebody. Maybe her brother.
GK: She doesn't have a brother.
SS: Call her on your cellphone.
GK: I dropped my cellphone! Could you call Earl Sanderson? the Eagle Scout?
SS: He's right here.
TR: Hello, sir. We're working on the problem and we're going to send Crispy the Rescue Dog up with a rope for you to tie around your waist, using the bowline hitch. You remember the bowline hitch from Boy Scouts?
GK: I think so.
GK: Is that the one where the rabbit comes out of the hole and goes around the tree and then back down in the hole?
TR: Exactly. Very good.
(DOG PANTING, JINGLE TAGS)
Okay, Crispy's in harness and he's coming up to you sir. (MOTOR OF CRANE, WINCH SPOOLS, DOG PANTING)
TR (OFF): He has the rope in his mouth, and just tie it around your waist.
GK: Yes, sir. He's right here. And I have the rope.
TK (DOG): Make sure you don't drop it---
GK: Not going to drop it, Crispy.
TK (DOG): Don't have all day, you know. I'm here with the dog of my dreams. Waiting for me down there. One with the big brown eyes-- and that little wavy tail. Oh boy, her tail. Oh my gosh. She had a tail on her.....
GK: You're sort of drooling on me, okay?
TK (DOG): I was just about to go off to the parking lot with her and then I had to put on the dang harness and get lifted up here to rescue you.
GK: You know, your toenails are awfully sharp.
TK (DOG): You ever be with a woman and things were just about to happen and then somebody put you in a harness and up you went in the air?
GK: Happens to me all the time.
TR (OFF): How's that rescue coming, Crispy? Make sure he signs the waiver.
GK: A waiver! I'm terror-stricken. I can't sign my name. I can barely inhale.
TK (DOG): You gotta sign it. Otherwise he won't rescue you.
GK: What is it?
TK (DOG): It means if the crane accidentally drops you or the rope slips up around your neck, you can't sue him.
TR (OFF): You got that waiver signed? Sir?
TK (DOG): You got no choice, sir. You're kind of in the same position I am. --You ever hear of the dog's prayer?
TK (DOG): It goes like this. O Thou Whose Name Is Dog Spelled Backwards -- Here I Am, In A World of Cats, and All the Tennis Balls Have Other Dogs' Spit On Them, O Lord Just Let Me Be Of Service And Guide And Fetch And Do Good For Others. And now and then, Lord--- now and then-- Well, You know What I'm Thinking So I Don't Even Need To Say It. Thank you. Amen.
GK: Amen. -- Okay. There. An X. (SFX) Good enough?
TK (DOG): Good enough. Okay-- rope nice and snug? Good. (BARKS) Down you go. (WINCH)
GK: Where'd she go?
GK: The girl I was with.
SS: You know, I can't keep track of your life for you.....
GK: I was trapped on the Ferris wheel.
SS: She waited around and you were frozen in fear so she left.
AS: No, I didn't.
SS: Oh. Here she is.
GK: Hi. Thanks for waiting around.
AS: Of course I waited around. We're together. Remember?
GK: I thought about you up there. I thought a lot about you. I didn't see you anywhere and I figured you'd found somebody else.
AS: I was here.
GK: I know. I missed you.
GK & AS (SING):
Oh, my love, my darling,
I've hungered for your touch a long, lonely time,
Time goes by so slowly and time can do so much.
Are you still mine?
I need your love, I need your love, God speed your love to me.
TR (ANNC): This has been another episode of Earl Sanderson, Eagle Scout, and his dog Crispy (ARF ARF)--Brought to you by Tasty Morsels Breakfast Cereal. The cereal with a valuable prize in every single box.