TR: These are the good years for Barb and me. I mowed the lawn yesterday, for the first time this season. And I was really enjoying that. The sun on my face. And I forgot to look down and I stepped in a big fresh pile of dog stuff. But I got the job done. And then today I came home from the store and found Barb on the couch, drinking a beer and listening to iPod.
SS (SINGS): Lonesome....so lonesome...like to die...
TR: Barb, what are you doing?
SS: Listening to country music.
TR: You're not tuned to public radio?
TR: And is that beer?
SS: I decided to open myself up to new experiences. A malt experience. Expand my horizons.
TR: Barb. The only thing you're going to expand is your butt.
SS: Where is the tolerance, Jim? Where is the open-minded man that I married?
TR: Barb. I don't got for self-pity and bitter resentment and that's what that music is about.
SS: Now Jim, that is the most bigoted thing I've heard you say in a while.
TR: It's the truth, Barb.
SS: I've got one thing to say to you, Jim--
I'm leaving you.
You don't want me to
Be the person who
I am-- So I
Am saying goodbye--
TR: I don't think you're getting enough ketchup, Barb. Ketchup contains natural mellowing agents that help you accept that you are who you are. And you are not a singer. Have some ketchup. I think you'll feel better in no time.
Winter is gone now
Awaken from your slumber
The temperature is rising
Up to warmer numbers
Life is flowing
Like ketchup on cucumbers
GK: Ketchup, for the good times.
RD: ketchup, ketchup.