TR: The Adventures of Guy Noir, Private Eye, will not be heard today due to our talent contest. Join us next week when we'll hear Guy say.....

GK: Is this where your husband disappeared, Mrs. Rosewater?

SS (DEEP): I don't think so.

GK: If you don't think he disappeared here, then why are we here?

SS (DEEP) : Because I wanted to be here with you.

GK: Why?

SS (DEEP): I want to sing a duet with you.

GK: I don't sing, Mrs. Rosewater.

SS: Have a drink. Alcohol helps.

GK: I don't think so.
SS: Everybody's got a song in their heart. Come on.

GK: Ma'am, you called me to come and find your husband for you.

SS: I don't want to find my husband. I want you.

GK: Ma'am--

SS: Sing --As Time Goes By-- -- sing it.

GK: I don't know the words.

SS: Sure, you do.

GK: I don't.

SS: This .45 automatic says you do. (CLICK OF HAMMER, WHIR OF CYLINDER)

GK: You expect me to sing at gunpoint? (GUNSHOT) Okay. (SINGS)
Moonlight and love songs
Never out of date
Hearts full of passion
Jealousy and hate

Woman needs man
And man must have his mate
As no one can deny
(BOTH) It's still the same old story
A fight for love and glory
A case of do or die
The world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by,

TR: Okay, mister. Turn around. Real slow. Hands in the air. No funny business.

SS: Sheldon!

GK: This your husband?

TR: Right. And who are you?

SS: He's a private eye, Sheldon. His name's Noir. Guy Noir.

TR: How could you be attracted to a guy like that?

GK: What do you mean --Like that--? Like what?

SS: I thought you'd disappeared, Sheldon.
TR: I was hiding, waiting to see what you'd do without me around. And now I know.

GK: Look. It wasn't my idea.

TR: You were singing with her....

GK: If you think I was attracted to her, you are wrong.

TR: You had your arm around her waist....

GK: Briefly.....

TR: You were singing a love song.....

GK: If you think I did that because it gave me pleasure, you got another think coming.

SS: Shoot him, Sammy. Shoot him and throw him to the sharks.

FN: Put the gun down, Mr. Rosewater.

TR: Who's that?

FN: It's me. Your neighbor. Manny Verylow.

SS: Manny-- what are you doing here?

FN: I'm taking you away, Angel Lips.
TR: The heck you are.

FN: She doesn't love you. She only married you for your culinary abilities. Come, Angel.

TR: Elaine?

SS: I can't help it, Sheldon. When he sings to me, I get all bumpy and trembly.


Oh don't you know I want to sing with you
I want to sing and do some other stuff too
And every evening when the red sun sets
We'll sing duets, we'll sing duets. (BRIDGE)
TR: That's coming up next week on Guy Noir, Private Eye.