GK: If you need a therapist, but you don't want to go to one in your home town because people will see your car in the parking lot and mark you as unstable and not let their kids play in your yard, then it's time to take a therapy vacation to New York City. (BIG GLISS AND BAND)

HEATHER (SINGS): In New York, people don't blink
If they know you're seeing a shrink.

GK: New York City, with more psychotherapists per square mile than any city in the world.


We've got cognitive, expressive, and analysis
And also buildings like giant phalluses.

GK: So book your next trip to New York through Emotional Adventures. Enjoy fine dining (TR FRENCH) and the Empire State Building (WIND), cabaret (HEATHER VOCALIZES, TORCH) all with a therapist to guide your experience.


SS (UNDER): You're feeling something right now. And that's good.


TR (NY): Four nights at a three-star hotel, two Broadway plays, one Circle Line dinner cruise, and five hours of therapy, all for under $1000. Airfare not included.


It's a beautiful New York vacation,
Theater, dining, maybe medication.

GK: Or the deluxe package: five nights at a four-star hotel, three Broadway plays, six hours of therapy, for under $1500. All of the pleasures of New York -- a carriage ride in the park (HORSES HOOVES), the Staten Island ferry (BOAT HORN), Coney Island (RATCHET OF ROLLER COASTER AND THEN ROAR, SCREAMS), Broadway (HEATHER SINGS: Tonight, tonight, won't be just any night), and a therapist by your side.

SS: Tell me what you're feeling right now.

TR (BLOOMBERG): I'm feeling good. This is Mayor Michael Bloomberg. Everybody in New York is already in therapy, so who cares if you are? I'm in therapy. There's no shame in it. In fact, people wonder about you if you're not. So come to New York and let us tell you what's wrong with you and then let's have a real good time.


New York, New York, it's a therapy town.
The place to go if you're feeling down.
If you're in therapy, nobody cares.
And if you're not crazy, we can take you there.
New York, New York-- a psychotherapy fair.