GK: Each of us needs counseling from time to time and some look for transformative counseling --

SS (BREATHY): I want you to visualize yourself as a source of light.

GK: And there is reformative counseling and that is the ELCA, the Evelyn Lundberg Counselling Agency.

SS (EVELYN): Stop complaining and just get over it. You're cold, everybody's cold. You don't like it, go live somewhere else. All your bellyaching doesn't make it one bit warmer and it's a big drag for the rest of us. So just lighten up. And while you're at it, try wearing something green or blue or pink or even white -- something other than black -- whoever told you it makes you look skinnier didn't see you in broad daylight. And do something about that tattoo. My gosh, that is unsightly. And pull your pants up. You got em down around your crotch. What's that all about? Just shape up.

GK: The Evelyn Lundberg Counseling Agency. Your time is valuable and she doesn't waste it. She gets right to the point.

SS (EVELYN): Your nose is running. Blow it. (HONK)

GK: The Evelyn Lundberg Counselling Agency. In the Yellow Pages under Leadership.