GK: Holy week is coming up, so if you're one growing number of persons who describe yourself as "Spiritual, but not Religious," you might feel left out. Then it's time to go to the ELCA. The Evelyn Lundberg Counseling agency.

SS (EVELYN): So you're a heathen. Fine. Good for you. Hope you're happy.

GK: Yes, Evelyn gives it to you straight so you can get on with your life, no beating around the bush.

SS (EVELYN): Maybe that's why you're unhappy. It's all about you, you, you. Ever hear about loving your neighbor? No, of course not. You're like most pagans. A narcissist.

GK: Yes, Evelyn gives you a clear perspective few other therapists dare to give.

SS (EVELYN): So you do yoga and you worship animals and you burn candles that smell like cardamom. Do you think that makes you a good person? Just cause you're nice to people like yourself? Just because you have friends? Well, la di da. A nice chardonnay and a baguette is not the same as communion.

GK: That's the ELCA, Evelyn Lundberg Counselling Agency. Call today for a Holy Week appointment.