Garrison Keillor: ...If you love coffee, and by the looks of you I'd say you do, then you know there are times when your hands are occupied and you can't hold a cup -- now, just for you, there's coffee in plug form. Just put it in your cheek and get your caffeine straight.
Tastes so lovely in your cheek
The sensation is unique
That's coffee
It's a little dry at first
But you know it could be worse
Black coffee
Coffee stimulates saliva,
Helps an older guy survive a
Summer in Columbus,
Even dance sambas and rhumbas
Whether latte or au lait
I'm sure you'll say it's awfully good coffee.