Welcome to the St. Paul
Museum of Art. I know it's small,
One big room and one long hall.
Fifteen paintings and that's all
But a very lovely gallery.
And of course admission's free.
The coat check's right over there.
The little room below the stair.
If you want to hang up your coat and hat.
No restaurant, sorry about that.
The toilets are one floor down.
You okay? Good. I'll show you around.
Here's the paintings: about fifteen.
So let me tell you what they mean.
O the neo-classical tried to speak
In the simple lines of the ancient Greek
The Romantics went for more emotion:
Sky, forests, rocks, ocean.
The pre-Raphaelites were courageous
And tried to go back to the Middle Ages
Impressionism: a sunny day,
Flowers, rivers, and ballet.
Post impressionist: bold strokes,
Ecstatic colors, common folks.
Expressionism: exaggerated,
Agitated, over-rated.
Modernism: abstract,
Very cool, matter of fact.
Cubism: separated planes.
Art for b-b-b-b-b-b-b-brains.
Dada was absurd.
Word word word word.
Surrealism: all about dreams.
A fish, an umbrella and a sewing machine.
Abstract expressionism: cool it ain't,
Drip, drip, throw the paint.
Pop art was the soda pop group.
Marilyn Monroe, Campbell's soup.
Minimalism: what can I say?
Neo-expressionism presents
Art that's ambiguous, playful, tense.
Post-modernist: hey-- wow--
That's us-- you-- me-- now.
Thanks for coming on the tour.
Hope I wasn't too obscure.
Here's your hat and here's your coat,
Your umbrella and your tote.
Do we have a gift shop? Oh yes.
Ten percent off on your purchases
Of postcards, posters, books and prints,
Candies, chocolates or mints.
T-shirts of Gaugin, Marc Chagall,
Monet, Manet, and Warhol.
Large, medium, or small.
And thanks for coming to St. Paul.