Garrison Keillor: We're in the famous Dakota Dome in Vermillion, which is a natural stone formation that Lewis and Clark noted in their journals -- about the size of three football fields. And which was hollowed out by Kubla Khan as it says in the famous poem, In South Dakota did Kubla Khan A stately pleasure dome decree. The Khan he was a mighty man with strong and sinewy hands. And he loved to get out of the sun and hear the marching bands.
You can get an idea of the size of the dome if I play this bagpipe (BAGPIPE) and you hear the echo. (PAUSE, ECHO)
The Dakota Pleasure Dome is for people to visit when winter gets too long or the wind blows too hard -- it's not easy living out on the prairie -- so here inside we find the artificial lagoon with surf machine (SURF) and people come after chores to swim with dolphins (SFX) and to see the flamingos (SFX) and the seals on the big rock (SEALS). At this end is the big Tilt A Whirl that you ride in and it throws you out onto the lagoon (CRY OF FLYING MAN, SPLASH) and a dolphin catches you and brings you back. A great luxury after a hard day of work. There is the Rain Forest here with (BIRDS, PRIMATES) all sorts of wildlife, and sometimes it rains. (THUNDERSTORM). The University uses it for sports, of course, for track (running/effort), and there are racquetball courts here (SQUEAK OF SNEAKERS, WHOP OF BALL ON COURT WALLS AND RACQUETS), and there's a motorcycle dirt track (MOTORCYCLES AROUND/ THEN JUMP AND LAND), and there's tractor dancing (GIRL FROM IMPANENA MUSIC/TRACTOR REVS), and intercollegiate Cow tipping (MOO/ THUD). And of course there's football. The University of South Dakota Coyotes play here under the dome. (WHISTLE, RUNNING, BIG GRUNT)

Tim Russell (CAPOTE): This is just the most scrumptious place. It's divine. I just adore it. And they named the team after -- moi.

GK: Sorry. It's called the Coyotes. Not the Capotes.

TR (CAPOTE): Oh. So you're saying I can't be a cheerleader? I brought my own pom pons.

GK: Sorry.
The water park is the highlight of the Dakota Dome --the Storm Water Drainage ride (BUBBLES/WATERFALL to SCREAMS/GIANT FLUSH) and the Irrigation sprinkler ride (BIG SPRINKLER/ COWBOY WHA-HOOOS) and the climbing wall which is a life-size replica of Mount Rushmore -- there's a man lowering himself down Teddy Roosevelt's windpipe (ECHOING CALL: Throw me a piton, Duane!). There's The Badlands roller coaster (Coaster roar/screams) and a Skateboard park (BOARD-BY/ Dude!) with the Cattle Grate Challenge (Huge clattER).
It's a beautiful place where I see a few buffalo roaming (BUFFALO) and I see deer and antelope playing. They're playing ping-pong (VOLLEY) with the paddles attached to their antlers (VOLLEY WITH ANIMAL GRUNTS) and they're having a wonderful time and so are we.