Garrison Keillor: ...after this word from the Girl Scouts of America.

Tim Russell (SCOUT LEADER): Repeat after me, boys:

(w/ Fred Newman & GK)
On my honor I will do my best
To do my duty to God and my country
and to obey the Scout Law;
And never, ever, ask anyone for directions.

Sue Scott: My name is Judith Flexnert.....

FN (LADY): And I am Minerva Spivak, and we are the co-CEOs of the Girl Scouts of America. And one of our priorities is teaching girls to find their way in case they should ever find themselves with a Boy Scout.

SS: Our girls are taught to get their bearings by reading the moss on the bark of trees and by following the flight of migratory birds. (OWL HOOTS) They can locate street addresses by reading the stars.

FN: They can also read maps. And in a pinch, they don't hesitate to walk into a gas station or convenience store and ask for directions.

SS: As we say in the Girls Scouts of America:

FN & SS: I will do my best to respect myself and others, make the world a better place, and be a sister to every Girl Scout. And also know where I am, or know who to ask.

GK: So if you're going camping this summer, don't forget to bring a Girl Scout with you.

FN: If you're going to get lost, wouldn't you rather be with the person with the cookies?

GK: The Girl Scouts of America.