Garrison Keillor: ...back after this message from Top Dog. (WOOF)
GK: If you're driving around and you can't find a parking space except loading zones or in front of a fire hydrant, because the town is full of tourists, it can be so irritating -- that's when you want a portable parking meter from Top Dog (WOOF). It's the perfect accessory for your car. It means that your car sits wherever it fits. No more paying garage rates. Just pull up to that curb where it's painted red, and get the meter out of your trunk and assemble it (MECHANICAL SFX) and set it down on the sidewalk and secure it, either with a clamp (RATCHET) or four suction cups (FOUR POPS) or two-nine-inch bolts set into the concrete (TWO DRILLING SFX). And now you are good to go. That red stripe on the curb says, "Reserved just for me." Park anywhere you like, at bus stops, handicapped spots, in your neighbor's yard if you want to. We also offer a portable curb that fits snugly in the gap between two existing curbs. Just pop it in and-voila! You're no longer blocking a driveway. We also make a Parking Welcome 24 Hours sign that you can attach to any No Parking sign. Because this is your town. Why not be the Top Dog? (WOOF) It's the street smart thing to do.