Garrison Keillor: For people who need to travel back and forth between New York and Minnesota, language can be confusing, and that's why we've published the Yiddish-Minnesota phrasebook for travellers.

Sue Scott: Mazel tov.
Tim Russell: Real good then.

SS: So, nu?
TR: How come? What's the deal?

SS: Oy veh.
TR: Ufta.

GK: There are six pages devoted to Oy veh alone--

SS: Oy veh.
TR: Anyways.

SS: Oy veh.
TR: Boy, you got a vivid imagination there.

SS: Oy veh.
TR: Oh, fer gosh sake.

SS: Oy veh.
TR: I knew it!

SS: Oy veh.
TR: I've about had it up to here!

GK: Plus hundreds of other handy terms and phrases in both languages.

SS: What a schlemiel.

TR: Lissen, ya big corndog. Don't be such a doofus.

SS: Listen, enough with the schmoozing, time to get off your tucchis.

TR: Well, can't sit around here chewing the fat all day, gotta hit the road.

SS: He's nice. So heymish.

TR: Yeah, she could've done a lot worse, I'll say that.

SS: Even if his house is full of dreck.

TR: You ever been in his house? It's different, I'll say that.

GK: Almost enough phrases in the Yiddish-Minnesota dictionary so you can carry on a whole conversation.

SS: Don't make a tsimmes out of it.

TR: Don't go to no trouble on account a us. No need to get all hoity-toi about it. Just put the hay down where the goats can get it.

SS: As if we don't have enough tsuris already.

TR: We're hip deep in sheep dip as it is.

SS: Why are we schlepping all this way out to New Jersey to see that schmegegge?

TR: This is kindda the roundabout way of getting there, don't you know. If it were up to me, I'd just as soon stay home. The guy is dumber than a box full of hammers.

SS: Who am I? The highway map maven?

TR: Don't ask me, you're driving.

SS: What's all the shtus about?

TR: I feel like I'm in a bunch of lunatics.

SS: I am sitting on shpilkes with all this schlepping around and all the other mishegas. I am completely oysgeshpilt.

TR: She's got her undies in a bunch cause of all the hoop-de-doo, I think she's about to go into conniptions and pitch a fit.

SS: Feh!

TR: That's no good.

GK: The Yiddish-Minnesota dictionary. Two languages that are rich in sorrow and complaint, a little short on the rhapsodic.

SS: Nisht geferlich.

TR: Could be worse.

SS: Hey I'm farmisht.

TR: What do you say we tie on the old feedbag?
SS: So, nu?

TR: Whaddaya say let's head inta town.

GK: The Yiddish-Minnesota dictionary. Get one. Don't be a dummy.