Tim Russell: These are the good years for Barb and me. We got Chinese take-out for supper last night and I sort of choked on a chili flake and coughed hard and it adjusted my spine and now the headaches are gone. I was able to start dealing with the flood of catalogues arriving at our house -- last month I counted 400-- Barb recently went through a towel-buying frenzy and ordered fifteen dozen tea towels though we don't drink tea, and personalized towels and bath towels the size of horse blankets. Not to mention potpourri dishes and little ceramic chickens. Anything scented -- she can't help herself. --
Sue Scott: I was looking at this bottle of moon grass scented oil in this catalogue, Jim -- look, you put these long wooden sticks in it and they act as wicks and it spreads a nice lemony aroma -- wouldn't that be nice for our guest bathroom?
TR: Barb, if the UPS man shows up at our house any more often, we're going to have to offer him a room.
SS: Jim, I'm only trying to make our home nice for us.
TR: Right. And I'm having a hard time walking from room to room. We used to have big open flat areas and now there are little twisting valleys between the hills--
SS: Oh, pshaw, you're just saying that. -- Did you see the beautiful birdhouses I bought at the 4-H craft fair?
TR: I did. Barb-- birdhouses belong outdoors, so birds can live in them--
SS: These are too pretty to stick outside -- those kids do such nice work -- and, by the way, their talent show is tonight -- want to go?
TR: Barb, you're changing the subject--
SS: I always wished our kids had some sort of talent -- music or theater or writing or something--
TR: Theater they were good at -- it's just that we were their only audience -- and the drama lasted for years.
SS: Oh, Jim. It wasn't that bad.
TR: Remember that song I wrote for you in high school?-- I sang it for the talent contest-- "The road ahead is as long as your hair -- I don't want to ever look and not see you there"-- remember?
SS: Look at this set of six towels, Jim-- black -- we've never had black towels -- wouldn't that look great-- we just need to get a pair of matching towel holders-- oh, look-- here they are here-- and they're rosemary-scented--
TR: Barb, how about we have us a nice bowl of ketchup? Ketchup has the natural mellowing agents that lets you forget about shopping and enjoy the things that you already have. Come on, sit down and I'll get some out of the cupboard....
Rich Dworsky (SINGING): These are the good times, the snow so gently falls The house is full of catalogues like tiny shopping malls Life is flowing, Like ketchup on meatballs.
GK: Ketchup, for the good times...