Garrison Keillor: Have you ever looked at your living room furniture and thought --

Tom Keith: What did we spend all that money for? We hardly ever sit in there.

GK: Maybe it's time you considered Frank Farrell's Furniture Time-share.

Tim Russell: This is Frank Farrell. Here at Frank Farrell's Furniture Time-Share, we save you big money by subletting your furniture when you're not using it. During the day, while you're at work, your living room set is in a dentist's office waiting room, earning you income. Your TV is at a senior citizen center. Your dishes are at a school cafeteria. Your mattresses are on a truck, cushioning shipments of fragile china. And by 5 o'clock (CREW OF MEN, GRUNTING, STRAINING) all of your stuff is returned to your home and put back just the way it was. Going on vacation? We can sublet your car, your home, even your clothes. Don't pay for stuff you're not using. Join Frank Farrell's Furniture Time-Share. And save.