Sue Scott: Did you call the babysitter?
Garrison Keillor: About what?
SS: You didn't call the babysitter.
GK: I was going to call her.
SS: So we can't go out tonight.
GK: Go out to what?
SS: Doesn't matter. No babysitter.
GK: What about the Simpson girl?
SS: She's away at Swarthmore. She's not in the babysitting business anymore.
GK: You're kidding....They grow up so fast. --How about we let the kids sleep over at the Martinsons?
SS: They got divorced. Two years ago. He has the kids on weekends. By the way, Sarah has a cello lesson in fifteen minutes. You better get going.
GK: I thought you were taking her.
SS: I'm dropping off Eric at soccer.
GK: Soccer! It's the middle of winter.
SS: They play under a dome. (BRIDGE)
Tim Russell: An evening out can be tough to arrange if you're the parents of small children, and that's why we started Danny Meadows Home Entertainment. My sisters Melissa and Miranda Meadows and me (Danny Meadows) will come to your home and give you a good time like you haven't had in years. (BALDWINS: FOUR BARS OF BIG CHEESY DUET CHORUS) They do the singing and I do the jokes -- Hey, this guy walks into a bar. He shoulda seen it coming! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. (BALDWINS DO SECOND BIG CHEESY DUET CHORUS, FOUR BARS) -- These two penguins are standing on an ice floe and one of em says, Hey you look like you're wearing a tuxedo and the other penguin says, Who says I'm not? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (BALDWINS DO THIRD BIG CHEESY DUET CHORUS) C'mere, Rex. (WOOFS) Do your back flip. C'mon. (DOG WHINES) Back flip. C'mon. Okay, do your somersault. (WOOF) Good dog. (BALDWINS DO FOURTH CHEESY DUET CHORUS) You get music, comedy, a very talented dog, plus extra-large pizza with your choice of topping.
BALDWINS & TR SING (STEPS OF CHORD): Sausage
TR: Fifty cents extra per additional topping.....
BALDWINS & TR SING (CHORD): Green pepper Mushroom Extra cheese.
TR: So this grasshopper walks into the bar and the bartender says, Hey, we've got a drink named after you, and the grasshopper says, Why would anyone name a drink Bob?
(BALDWINS SING FIFTH CHEESY DUET FOUR BARS)
TR: What's two plus two, Rex? Two plus two! (THREE WOOFS) Close enough.
TR: We bring the food and the fun to you - no more worrying about parking, cover charges, tips. At Danny Meadows Home Entertainment, we prove that
TR & BALDWINS SPEAK IN UNISON: You don't have to smoke or drink to have a good time.
TR: Call now -- ordinarily we book seven to eight weeks in the future, but due to cancellations we do have openings this weekend. Call now.
BALDWINS SING: If you're looking for sparkle and glitter
But you're left with no babysitter
And we'll have a real good time. (WOOF)