(GK: Garrison Keillor; SS: Sue Scott; TR: Tim Russell; TK: Tom Keith; RD: Rich Dworksy)


GK:... brought to you by the Ketchup Advisory Board.

SS: These are the good years for Jim and me. Spring has come and we had the house fumigated which pretty much took care of the lice problem and we've been enjoying more leisure time since we decided to embrace the concept of Natural Landscaping As Practiced By Native Peoples. Our lawn is all rocks and thistle and buckthorn, and it's perfectly nice, and the neighbors don't seem to be as angry as they were last fall at that meeting where we said a lot about freedom that maybe we could have said more tactfully. And hiring the attorney was a bad idea. Speaking of which, Jim Junior is now celebrating 14 days of sobriety and his parole officer says he is doing fine and our daughter has recovered from that horrible accident when she got picked up by the giant magnet on the crane at the steel salvage yard - it just grabbed hold of the metal on her face and she was traumatized, but she's fine now, and so are we, and the other day I said to Jim: There's something about you that seems different. I don't know. Tranquil. At peace with yourself.

TR: Well, it's summer.

SS: You look so--- at ease.

TR: Maybe it's because I'm not reading our monthly statement from the mutual fund.

SS: Your hair seems more relaxed. What's going on?

TR: Nothing. (PAUSE) Well----

SS: What? What is it?

TR: I've been shampooing with ketchup, Barb.

SS: Ketchup!

TR: Ketchup has natural mellowing agents which are easily absorbed by the hair roots, and they go directly to the brain and the cerebral cortex. I've never felt better.

SS: And red hair looks good on you.

RD (SINGS): These are the good times, spring is in the air.
Grasses and flowers and green leaves everywhere.
Life is flowing like ketchup in your hair

GK: Ketchup. For the good times.

RD (SINGS): Ketchup--.ketchup.

© Garrison Keillor 2003