(GK: Garrison Keillor; SS: Sue Scott; TR: Tim Russell; FN: Fred Newmann; MT: Mark Thomsen)
GK: ......this portion of our show brought to you by Bella Amorosa, the pizza of passionate romance.
MT: (O SOLE MIO)
It comes with onions
And extra cheese
If you please ---
It knocks your socks off
And your pants.
It is the pizza
MT: I cannot sleep, I cannot eat --- I am tortured. Come away with me, Esmeralda.
SS: How can we be doing this? I'm so ashamed! And yet--- I love you so much. I can't live without you! (KNOCKS ON DOOR)
MT: Who is that?
SS: My husband!
MT: Oh my God.......(BIG BREAKAGE OF WOOD AND GLASS)
TR: Aha!!! I thought so!! You ---- you thief! You traitor! You big dummy, you!
SS: I can't help myself! I love him, Rico!
MT: What are you saying???? I'm Rico!!! He's Fred!!
TR: I'm Frederico!!
SS: I am so confused.
MT: But I'm Rico!! I'm your lover!
SS: I'm sorry. I am so mixed up. I thought you were Ricardo.
MT: I am Rico!!!
TR: Oh yeah? Well, take that! (THRUST OF SWORD, INTO FLESH. TR GROAN) Now you're Rico on a stick---- (CRUEL LAUGH)
SS: How could you do it???? He's dead.
MT: Almost. Not quite. I can still sing.
(O SOLE MIO)
So eat it busily,
Eat it happily,
Eat it in Sicily
Or in Napoli.
And then we die.
So please enjoy
Our pizza pie.
© Garrison Keillor 2002