(GK: Garrison Keillor; SS: Sue Scott; RD: Richard Dworsky: KC: Kristin Chenoweth)

RD (sings): We're all reaching out toward each other
All trying so hard to find
A reason to love one another,
The bond that unites humankind.

GK: Nice day today.

KC: It sure is.

GK: Shame to spend it indoors.

KC: Yeah.

GK: Especially in a urologist's waiting room.

KC: Right.

GK: You know what they say --- a good day is any day when you don't have to go to a urologist.

KC: Oh. I never heard that.

GK: Yeah. But when you've got to go, you've got to go.

KC: Right.

GK: You been going to Dr. Chenoweth for a long time?

KC: He's my dad.

GK: He is----?

KC: Right.

GK: Oh. I just assumed you were---

KC: No. He and I are going out to dinner. You're his last patient.

GK: So you've never had a problem-----

KC: No.

GK: Well, you're lucky.

KC: It helps to drink plenty of water every day.

GK: Right. I'm sure.

RD (sings): We're all reaching out toward each other
All trying so hard to find
A reason to love one another,
The bond that unites humankind.

GK: It's so odd to hear Beatles songs on Muzak.

KC: Oh. Is this the Beatles?

GK: Yeah. "Here Comes The Sun." George wrote it.

KC: Were there three Beatles or were there more than three?

GK: Four.

KC: Oh. And George was one of them, I guess.

GK: He was. Yes. I had a friend who was almost a carbon copy of George.

KC: I always wondered ----- What is a carbon copy? Is that like carbon dating? I mean, carbon is like---- coal, right?

GK: Right. It ---- it refers to carbon paper. What you used when you wanted to type more than one copy---- when we had typewriters. You'd put this black sheet in between two white sheets. Shiny side under, so when the typewriter key hit the top page, it----- never mind. Not important.

KC: I think I saw that in a movie once. Where Richard Gere is a Navy cadet.

GK: "An Officer and A Gentleman."

KC: Right. We watched that in this history course I took on the Eighties. In college.

GK: There's a history course on the Eighties?

KC: Sure. I took one on the Thirties, one on the Fifties, and one on the Eighties. They were sort of companion courses.

GK: Nice.

RD (sings): A reason to love one another,
The bond that unites humankind.

GK: You know, speaking of movies---- I hate to ask this, and I don't mean to invade your privacy, but I've got to ask ----- didn't I see you in that Broadway musical, "Let's Do A Show"?

KC: Right.

GK: You're Kristin Chenoweth? Really?

KC: Yes.

GK: You are? I can't believe it. I mean, I saw the name of the urologist, I wondered. That's incredible. That was my favorite Broadway musical since I don't know when ----- you were great in that---- that opening number---- my gosh---- Hey kids, let's do a show, I know a place where we can go, where a million lights are as bright as day, And the name of the street is old Broadway. Well---- I guess you know it, right?

KC: Right.

GK: I went to see that show four times. It just meant something to me, it's hard to explain. It just made me extremely happy ----

KC: Well, that's great.

GK: I'd walk out of the theater singing ---- Moon over Manhattan, I'm throwin' my hat in the air. I'll shout hip hurray to the folks on Broadway, All around Times Square.

KC: That's nice you remember it. (PAUSE) You sing that very well. (PAUSE) What do you do for a living?

GK: I'm in radio.

KC: Really----

GK: Yeah. I do a radio show.

KC: You do that around here?

GK: Yeah. Here and other places.

KC: What's the name of it?

GK: Well, you wouldn't have heard it.

KC: What's it called?

GK: You're too young. You wouldn't know about it.

KC: But maybe I do. What sort of show?

GK: Oh, you know. Music. Stuff.

KC: What's the name of it?

GK: You wouldn't have heard it. It's not your kind of thing.

KC: Just tell me the name of it.

GK: It's not important.

KC: What's the name?

GK: It's "A Prairie Home Companion."

KC: Oh. (PAUSE) It sounds nice. (PAUSE) When is it on?

GK: It's on Saturdays.

KC: And it's a record show?

GK: Well, not really.

KC: What kind of music?

GK: Oh. Different things. You know.

KC: What station?

GK: It's on different stations. Public radio. You know. Without the commercials.

KC: Oh, right. Is this the show where the two guys talk about cars?

GK: No, it's not that one. It's a different one.

KC: Well, I'm sure it's wonderful. I hope I can hear it someday.

GK: Sure.

RD (sings): A reason to love one another,
The bond that unites humankind.

GK: Wasn't I reading about you in the paper, that you're going to do "The Music Man" on television?

KC: In the fall, yes. Around Thanksgiving.

GK: And you're going to play Marian Paroo.

KC: Right.

GK: That's one of my favorite musicals. Meredith Wilson. Lida Rose, and Goodnight My Someone, and the Wells Fargo Wagon and Til There Was You. "You got trouble my friends, trouble I say, trouble right here in River City, with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for Pool." Great musical.

KC: It is great. It was my grandfather's favorite musical. I suppose because he was young when it came out. I think the music you hear when you're young is the music that really sticks with you, don't you?

GK: Yes. I suppose.

KC: I mean, like with me, it's Alicia Keys. You know? She's incredible. "Fallin'" ? That's her big hit.

GK: I don't think I've heard it.

KC: You don't know Alicia Keys?

GK: No.

KC: You've heard of Phish, though?

GK: What do you mean?

KC: The band Phish? Trey Anastasio?

GK: I don't think so.

KC: The Dave Matthews Band? No?

GK: No.

KC: They're huge.

GK: Really.

KC: "Ants Marching"? "What Would You Say"? "Crash"?

GK: I missed it, I guess.

RD (sings): A reason to love one another,
The bond that unites humankind

KC: He was from Iowa, you know. Meredith Wilson. Who wrote "The Music Man."

GK: Right. Iowa.

KC: I grew up listening to my grandpa's recording of that show. And I always wanted to see Iowa. Have you ever been out there?

GK: I have, yes. Once or twice. Nice part of the country.

KC: It just seems so...wholesome. White houses, elms, picket fences---

GK: Right.

KC: Where are you from?

GK: France.

KC: France!

GK: Right. The middle of France.

KC: You seem so American.

GK: Well, I love your country, I love your language, I went to a lot of movies.

KC: I thought you said your show was called "Prairie Home Companion"----

GK: No, no. "Paris Home Companion".

KC: So you do a radio show in French?

GK: Oui. Tres bien.

KC: And you do it from here?

GK: Oui.

KC: Why would you do a French show in the U.S.?

GK: Well, it's hard to explain in English. Quelle est la place la moins chere, we would say. Hard to translate that exactly-----

KC: I majored in French in college. What did you say again?

GK: You majored in French?

KC: I go back every year to keep up my vocabulary----

GK: Ehhh. Tres bien.

SS: The doctor will see you now, Mr. Wyler.

GK: Wonderful. Great. Nice talking to you-----

KC: Same here.

SS: Have we emptied our bladder in the past hour, Mr. Wyler?

GK: Yes, ma'am.

KC: What time is your show on?

GK: It's on late. Very late.

SS: And have we evacuated our bowels today, Mr. Wyler?

GK: Uh. No.

KC: Midnight?

GK: Later than that.

SS: I'd like you to take this little plastic cup, Mr. Wyler, and give me a specimen.

GK: Yes, ma'am. ---- Bye.

KC: Bye. Good luck.

RD (sings): It's a time to come together,
A time for all people to see
The bonds that unite one another
In perfect harmony.

© Garrison Keillor 2002