(GK: Garrison Keillor, RD: Rich Dworsky)
GK: Ireland is prospering. Irish music and Irish culture are popular everywhere. In America millions of little children named Megan or Ryan or Sean or Caitlin. French people are coming here to get jobs. Fancy shops, the Irish pound is strong. But pride goeth before a fall, and before you fall, best to serve yourself a big bowl of Mournful Oatmeal for breakfast. It's the heavy cereal that puts you in your place.
GK, RD: (GREGORIAN CHANT)
Mournful Oatmeal is the cereal that makes you realize you're not as smart as your mother told people you were
You may have a certificate on the wall but you know you could never pass that examination again.
You may think that spring means new life and a fresh start but not necessarily for you, buster.
Mournful Oatmeal. No matter where you go, there you are.