(GK: Garrison Keillor, SS: Sue Scott, TK: Tom Keith, TR: Tim Russell)
GK: Once again the two candidates for President join us by satellite. Gentlemen, Election Day 2000 is in its second month now, and just when we thought it was over, the Florida Supreme Court said there's going to have to be a recount after all, and now on Saturday the U.S. Supreme Court said, stop that recount, let's talk about it on Monday. Vice President Gore, are you back in the ball game or not?
TR (GORE): I've always been optimistic. I felt that we stood a good chance with the Supreme Court because I feel that I made a clear and compelling case that every vote must count including the votes of folks like Bonnie Jo Pennebaker of Fort Lauderdale who, under my plan for Social Security-----
GK: Right. Thanks. Governor Bush, down in Texas, what's your reaction today?
TR (KISSINGER): Uh, the governor stepped out of the room, but he will be back here at the microphone in a minute.
GK: Mr. Kissinger, what are you doing down in Texas?
TR (KISSINGER): I was meeting with the Governor, to talk about the Middle East---
GK: Talking about what?
TR (KISSINGER): We're trying to tell him where it is.
GK: Good idea. And how is it going?
TR (KISSINGER): He's okay for about ten minutes and then he needs to go outside for awhile.
GK: Okay, you want to tell him we're waiting for him?
TR (KISSINGER): I'll try, yes.
GK: Mr. Vice President, are you concerned that if this dispute goes on and on, that there may be a constitutional crisis that will tear this country apart?
TR (GORE): I continue to be very hopeful that we'll find a resolution as people realize that every vote must be counted and that if every vote is counted I will become President and continue the economic boom we've been enjoying for eight years in this country and extending the benefits to all of our citizens----
GK: Okay. Thanks. Great. Mr. Kissinger? Any sign of the Governor?
TR (KISSINGER): He'll be here in a minute. He got a little excited and he injured himself kicking a wastebasket.
GK: I don't blame him. ----So, Mr. Vice President, you don't think we need to find a solution to this----
TR (CLINTON): Uh, the vice president had to take a phone call ---- this is his boss ---- how you all doing today?
GK: Just fine, Mr. President. Mr. President, are you concerned about the country heading into a constitutional crisis over this?
TR (CLINTON): You know, I guess I don't see the problem. You have a president in place, doing his job, a very experienced president, and I think that if they want to work this thing out in the courts for the next six months, hey, no problem.
GK: Okay, thank you, Mr. President.
TR (CLINTON): I took an oath to serve. I'm here. I'm working.
GK: Thank you, sir. Mr. Kissinger?
TR (BUSH): Uh, this is Governor Bush. How are you all doing up there?
GK: Governor, good afternoon, we have the President of the United States on the line with us----
TR (GORE): I appreciate your confidence very much, thank you----
GK: Sorry, we have the Vice President back with us---- Governor Bush, you must've been pretty surprised by yesterday's ruling by the Florida Supreme Court that a manual recount should start immediately.
TR (BUSH): I couldn't believe it. I turned to Colin Powell and I said, Make me one of those big old double bourbons and throw some vermouth in it. I thought he was a waiter, I guess.
GK: I thought you quit drinking years ago.
TR (BUSH): Yeah, I been through detox and now I'm in retox. But I'm going to be having other people drive me around, so it's okay.
GK: And then today the U.S. Supreme Court voted 4-3 to stop the recount.
TR (BUSH): Well, it's only right. We've counted enough votes. It's time to get on with it. Counting more votes would confuse things.
GK: So you think we'll get this resolved soon?
TR (BUSH): I think we're going to get a resolution of it on Monday. I'm confident that our system can work. I have complete confidence in our system, in the Supreme Court of the land, and in the people of the A.S.U. ---- I mean, the U.S.A. ---- to see this thing through.
GK: Mr. Vice President, was there a point last week when you were prepared to concede?
TR (GORE): I continued to be hopeful but I was also planning a trip to Manitoba where I would be living for two months with a herd of caribou and speaking in caribou and wearing antlers.
GK: I see.
TR (GORE): I've always been deeply concerned about the caribou and about their quality of life.
GK: But now---
TR (GORE): Now of course I'm continuing to be hopeful, now that all votes will be counted, including the vote of Sadie Kleppenhorst of Sarasota----
GK: Okay, Okay. Governor Bush, you're convinced the U.S. Supreme Court will rule your way next week?
TR (BUSH): Let me put it this way. I am going to be the next President. This thing was over weeks ago. It's still over. Al Gore has got a snowball's chance in hell of being elected and if he thinks there's snowballs down in hell then I suggest the Florida Supreme Court go down there and do a manual count of them.
GK: So you're confident----
TR (BUSH): I am the president-elect. Leader of the Free World. You can take it to the bank.
GK: You sound excited----
TR (BUSH): Man it's something. American history never interested me before---- and now I'm part of it.
GK: So you're still planning your transition now.
TR (BUSH): We've got a list of Cabinet appointees and I'm thinking about who should be Commissioner of Baseball and we're talking about introducing aluminum bats this summer and we're trying to set a date for the World Series. And I'm learning a lot about the world. Italy is the one next to Greece, right?
GK: They're close.
TR (BUSH): They're both in NATO----
TR (BUSH): But Turkey's not.
GK: Turkey is.
TR (BUSH): Turkey is in NATO.
TR (BUSH): But Taiwan's not.
GK: Taiwan's not.
TR (BUSH): Taiwan's the one, then.
GK: Right. It's in Asia.
TR (BUSH): Got it.
GK: Governor, do you feel that this long court struggle will make the presidency of whoever takes office seem less legitimate?
TR (BUSH): No, I don't. Americans supported my candidacy because they liked my ideas and supported my programs and also because voters in West Palm Beach couldn't read any better than I can.
GK: But a majority voted for Mr. Gore.
TR (BUSH): A majority in some states, yes, but in most states, a majority voted for me. That's why I won. It's as simple as that.
GK: Mr. Gore, have you started to plan for a Gore administration?
TR (GORE): Until this afternoon I was planning and now I am thinking more about a trip to Manitoba to live with those caribou.
GK: It sounds exciting. Good luck, and, Governor Bush, good luck to you.
TR (BUSH): Thanks. When are people gonna start calling me President Bush?
GK: That's a good question.
TR (BUSH): Is it something about the way I tilt my head? Do I purse my lips too much?
GK: No, it's not that.
TR (BUSH): You want to just try saying President Bush? See how it sounds? See what your comfort level is?
GK: Could we wait for awhile on that?
TR (BUSH): Okay, I'll be talking to you soon.
GK: Thank you, Governor.