TR (ANNC): After we kicked our children out of the house, Barb and I decided that we needed a new start in life and we quit our jobs in marketing and moved to Durango, Colorado, and opened a gift shop. So we could enjoy the good life together....and then, the other night.....


TR: What's wrong, Barb? You seem---a little down.

SS: Thank you for noticing.

TR: What's wrong?

SS: We used to be best friends, Jim. The boredom of midwestern life brought us closer together. And now our lives in Durango are so incredibly rich, we hardly see each other anymore.

TR: You're right, Barb.

SS: I was reading an interesting article in American Condiment magazine, Jim.

TR: Oh?

SS: It said that families that keep a ketchup bottle on the table at every meal --- they're happier, and they don't produce nearly as many psychopaths.

TR: Interesting.

SS: Remember this?

TR: Ketchup.

SS: I'm burned out on salsa, Jim. I'm tired of mountain bikes. I want to drive a car to the top of the mountain and have hot dogs with ketchup on them.

TR: Ketchup. It's like seeing Old Glory flying over the courthouse, isn't it. It's ----

SS: Why, you're crying, Jim.

TR: I am. And it feels good.

SS: I feel as if I could get to know you again, Jim.

TR: I know you can, Barb. (MUSIC BUILD BEGINS)


These are the good years, in the golden sun,
A new day is dawning, a new life has begun,
The river flowing like ketchup on a bun.
GK: Ketchup....for the good times.

RD (SINGS): Ketchup.....
(c) 1998 by Garrison Keillor