GK: ....brought to you by Forest Lawn Hair Products....
TR: If you are experiencing hair loss, here's a tip from Forest Lawn: flexing your eyebrows helps to build up the scalp muscles that grip hair and keep it on your head. Building skull muscle mass is the secret to great hair. Along with Forest Lawn Hair Mulch....pack it on at night, moisten, attach the plastic cap, and Forest Lawn Hair Mulch feeds your scalp as you sleep.
GK: Remember: no matter how nice they seem to be, people treat you according to your hair. No matter how smart you think you are, it's your hair they're looking at, not you.
VC: Your hair....it's so intense. It almost talks. I love your hair. You're a drag but your hair is gorgeous.
GK: Try Forest Lawn Hair Mulch and Forest Lawn Eyebrow Exercises. It really works.
© 1996 BY GARRISON KEILLOR