Dear Mr. Keillor,
Does Minnesota have a state lottery, and does Lake Wobegon have any of
those lotto machines? Do they have a convenience store, at least out on
the highway? How would Lake Wobegon people play the Lotto? Would they
use quick pick?
Mike Hayne
Mike, Minnesota has a major state lottery,
I'm surprised you haven't heard. Next week they're giving away
Koochiching County and in October the prize will be the town of
Baudette. If you like, you can take your prize in the form of
cash, either dollars or shekels. The most convenient store in
town is Ralph's Pretty Good Grocery. It's right there in the middle
of town, you can't miss it. Why would you drive out on the highway
to get a loaf of bread if you could walk down to Ralph's? When
Wobegonians play Lotto, they do it secretly and don't tell a soul.
Dear Mr. Keillor,
Is it possible for a layperson to be apprenticed to your talented foley
artist/sound effects man, Mr. Tom Keith? Mr. Keith's line of work has
appealed to me since I was very young, and I'd like to see what his work
entails in person, if possible.
Rachel West
Rachel, Our sound effects man is not
opposed to the idea of an apprentice but he feels that his is
a lonely craft, best practiced in a car on a long commute to or
from work. When talk radio starts to pale, you practice your repertoire
of dogs, large and small, yippy dogs, St. Bernards, and your chickens,
your artillery, your footsteps, your speeding cars, and before
you know it, you're home. The only reason to apprentice to Mr.
Keith would be to learn how he does his helicopter effect, which
involves a bag of birdseed, a five-tined fork, a quart of 10W30
motor oil, and a No. 4 grommet. It's quite a thing to see.
Garrison:
My question is, do you mind if people recognize you and reach out to you
after shows to say "thanks"?
Pam
Dear Pam, I don't mind at all, of course. It's
only that there's no need. Most folks leave the show and head
for the parking lot and don't hang around, and that's fine. I'm
glad to hang out with musicians afterward and anybody else and
they can say anything they like, but I'm not in need of thanks.
I'd rather meet your kids and hear about school. Minnesotans tend
to be uncomfortable around compliments. But kids are a lot of
fun.
Mr. Keillor:
In one of your responses in August, you said you were 78 years old. Now,
are you really 78, or were you magnifying your age somewhat to achieve
your point? On the plus side, you don't look 78, but if you are really
78, I'm going to have to quadruple my cherishing of you, cuz 78 is, after
all, getting up there. Do you have extreme longevity in your family? Really
good genes? I haven't heard anything regarding your health from the all-knowing
press, so I hope that means you're in excellent health.
Hopefully,
Kathy Banghart
Kathy, Age is all relative, after you pass
30, and some days you can be 78 and then you're 52 again. My family
isn't known for longevity, though my aunt Jean Canner is 96 and
still has all her marbles. And my dad is 86 and still has his.
My mother is 84. She doesn't feel 84 and if I should make it that
far, I'd hope to be as cheerful as she. She was a Denham so of
course they have good genes. That's a pun. I seem to have pretty
good genes myself, except for a tendency toward gloominess and
withering self-doubt. I need to do something about this in my
old age. Get outside more. Walk. Play golf. Hit a tremendous 3-iron
shot that flies 150 yards and rolls onto the green and into the
cup. Cheer up.
Dear Garrison,
According to Webster, a misogynist is "one who hates or distrusts women".
Do you know if there is a similar word for the opposite gender, i.e. one
who hates or distrusts men? (Love your show.)
Bob Kokernak
Bob, The word is "misandry," and a misandrist
is one who hates men. A very obscure word, because who can imagine
such a person?
Garrison:
There was an article in the Washington Post a couple of months ago about
the use of humor in advertising. The thrust of the article was about how
most of the advertising aimed at men contains humor, while that aimed
at women is often more serious. The article theorized about how men and
women respond differently to humor, and in the months since I read it,
I've noticed that this is true. While women enjoy a good laugh as much
as anybody, they take their humor a lot more seriously than men do. For
example, a man can laugh at a joke about a baby getting injured or some
kittens being drowned in a sack, but a woman's reaction will be, "Oh,
that poor baby!" or "Those poor little kittens!" Have you noticed this?
Peter Marshall
Peter, I haven't noticed this. But then I don't
enjoy jokes about baby carnage or animal killing either. Sorry.
I just don't. I've met a fair number of pretty humorless women,
sometimes have been stuck next to one for an entire three-course
meal which is my idea of torture. I do think that men regard humor
as common currency --- you tell jokes in order to create a bond
---- whereas women consider jokes to be the proof of intimacy.
Women who seem very formal to a stranger may, in the presence
of a close friend, enjoy all sorts of outrageous and ribald jokes.
Women tend not to have that talent for easy intimacy to the extent
that men have it. Look at Hillary Clinton. In person, she's one
of the warmest and funniest people you'd ever want to meet, and
in public, she's not. She's devoutly hated by millions of people
who, if they ever met her, would be astonished at the woman's
qualities. I think it's all because she can't tell a joke. Can't
be humorous at her own expense. Can't be genuine in that fake
way that men are good at. I think she'll be elected to the Senate
because her opponent is such a featherweight and I think she'll
be a good Senator but she's not a good politician.
Dear Mr. Keillor,
I have seen your picture plenty of times, but recently I saw your photo,
perhaps it was in Time magazine or somewhere, where you looked distinctly
Russian, Brezhnev brows and all. I know you went to Russia for the first
time recently, and I know from a recent Post to the Host that you are
part Scottish, and I surmise that you are Scandinavian. But do you think
there might be some Russian in you?
Laura Busse
Laura, My family tree has been extensively
researched by my relatives, hoping to find some distinguished
antecedents, a poet, a Russian count, an Ojibway medicine man,
anything to give ourselves an air of mystery, and so far all we
find is Scots and Yorkshiremen, farmers, maids, shop girls, here
and there a teacher. But I married a Swede, and there seems to
be some Russian tendencies there, notably a love of violin music
and a tendency to weep for the pleasure of it. My daughter sometimes
lies in the dark when put to bed and weeps, quietly, soulfully,
in a way that seems Russian to me.
Dear Garrison,
Recently I re-read "1984" with my 15 year old daughter and it made me
wonder whether it's ever too late to set out to read the classics. I'm
an MD, and my education was tilted toward the sciences", and I think I
missed out a bit by not having more of the liberal arts. What works would
your "must read" list include?
Bob in New Hampshire
Bob, Head for your library and browse through
the Literature section and see what catches your eye. You might
try out the Iliad and Ulysses, two great sagas, and the writings
of Marcus Aurelius, the Roman philosopher, very humane, very contemporary.
Certainly you should read some Shakespeare. Best to read him aloud,
maybe with your daughter. Midsummer's Night or King Lear or Henry
IV. And the sonnets are wonderful, read aloud, even memorized
so you can say them to yourself in the car ("When in disgrace
with fortune and men's eyes, I all alone beweep my outcaste state…."
Or "Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments….").
Try Chekhov's stories. Dostoevsky. Tolstoy's Anna Karenina. Dickens's
Great Expectations. One of the great American novels is Sister
Carrie by Theodore Dreiser. And Hemingway is worth visiting. Start
with his short stories. The difficulty of reading great literature
is to adapt one's ear to the author's voice, which is easier for
a younger person to do, just as it's easier for them to learn
a language. A 15-year-old can plunge into Homer and immediately
catch a wave and sail to the end. A distinguished gent like yourself
will find this more difficult. It helps to be patient, of course.
And then one day you come across a book that's written for you
and you alone, the author whispering across the centuries into
your ear, and this is a huge broadening experience.
Dear Garrison,
As an Asian American who grew up and has lived all her life in the Midwest,
I'm dying to know how the Tollerud's Korean adopted daughter, Corinne,
is doing. What's it like growing up Asian American in Lake Wobegon? (It
would seem to me that Asians tend to have the same reserved and self-deprecating
nature that Lutherans have. But on the other hand, how could she not stand
out -- and thus be subjected to some degree of alienation?)
Emily Chen
Emily, the Tollerud's daughter isn't
really Korean, she's Minnesotan. She only looks Korean. So of
course people who don't know her might designate her as Asian-American,
but to her friends and family, she's just Corinne, a good student,
a softball player, a cellist, a devout Lutheran, the youngest
of the family, the one who gets along with everybody. She stands
out in a number of ways but race really isn't one of them. Until
recent times, Asians were so rare in the Midwest, and absolutely
unknown in a small town like Lake Wobegon, and there never was
much in the way of prejudice against them. A great deal of prejudice
against Germans, against Jews, against Afro-Americans, some against
Anglos, but not much against Koreans. Anyway, she's one of ours.
Anybody who mistreated her would be severely spoken to.
